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0_equals_true
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15 Nov 2007, 8:23 am

My friend has texted me about some Christmas party that was posted on a forum for social anxious people I used to go on.

Problem is it been organized by this girl I have met previously. She is NT but has some emotional problems. I'm pretty liberal minded about all mental health matters, however I'm still wondering whether I should still go.

She has a tendency of getting drunk and doing attention seeking thinks like wandering off and fake stumbling so I would have to try and make sure she got home safely and generally being melodramatic. I know she fancied me, as she would try to come on to me but I don't fancy her and after the 3rd time of trying to get her on her bus I go a little fed up with it. I think she is around 33 but emotionally she is around 16 or less. She likes to play the victim. It is not surprising she had an absentee father who had more serious mental health problems. Her mother is completely over protective of her and she was held back several years because of social phobia but has done well to finish her schooling now. I was pretty tolerant of her antics was happy to meet up with her as she is not that far away from me until one particular thing happened. I was going to a meet and before she pm'ed me and in it she said something about one of the people who was attending. She said that he’d pulled a knife out at a meet and had to be restrained and accused him of stalking her, the guy in question was an unlikely person to do that but I took her word for it and kept it in confidence. I was a bit alarmed by it but I decided to go to the meet nonetheless. The guy turned up and he was perfectly alright but I naturally kept my distance. He is an interesting character possibly AS, let’s call him ‘Funny boy’. Funny boy doesn’t like wearing shoes so walk everywhere he can without them, he also like to go round with smiley stickers so anyone that wanted to could stick a smiley face to their clothing I guess as a sign of solidarity , he would bring his mini notebook computer so people could chat to those that were not on meets. I far as I can tell he would never hurt a fly, and the people that were most friendly with him corroborated that. But I hadn’t told anyone at the point and I met up with the girl again and she also told me that another person that I knew has stalked/hassled her. Well it started to get a bit fishy about that point. It was only after another meet where I refused to go after her when she wandered off that I talked to a woman who is friends with Funny boy and said I had been put in a compromising situation with this allegation. It turned out that what actually happened is the Funny boy (perhaps foolishly) had used a small pocket knife to try to self harm when he was at the meet. It is more a case of his friends trying to talk him out of it rather than being restrained. This woman also said that she had often acted hysterically in relation to this guy, and I vaguely remember an incident where she rushed into the bathroom sobbing that was mentioned. Understandably Funny Boy was upset about this and posted (which was embarrassing for me too) and he admitted fancying her but denied doing anything wrong, and I believe him. I decided not to see her as a pattern was forming. Not that I didn’t care, but more that I had other things to deal with and couldn’t cope with it. I did see her once again at a birthday party that I didn’t realise she was going to. I avoided talking to her for the most part. Anyway before this she invited me to a Christmas party by text the year before with I didn’t reply to.

I’m wondering is I should go this time. She could have changed. I don’t think she is deranged just a bit screwed up. I don’t think I would like her as a regular friend though. Also previously all the people I left behind, which was most people, I never go back to. I made a vow not to cut ties with people as a matter of course.



0_equals_true
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17 Nov 2007, 7:09 am

any idea?



psych
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19 Nov 2007, 7:10 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Also previously all the people I left behind, which was most people, I never go back to. I made a vow not to cut ties with people as a matter of course.


This is a good vow, but you shouldnt feel like you have to stick around to compensate for people youve cut off in the past.



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21 Nov 2007, 2:12 pm

psych wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
Also previously all the people I left behind, which was most people, I never go back to. I made a vow not to cut ties with people as a matter of course.


This is a good vow, but you shouldnt feel like you have to stick around to compensate for people youve cut off in the past.

I think I ought to go, I don't think she deserved to be cut out. I should have handled it better. Even if she gets the wrong idea, it is not the end of the world. She didn't text me about it so I'm not sure I'd be welcome at all. I’m not exactly relishing the opportunity, but it could be a positive thing.



richardbenson
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26 Nov 2007, 4:01 pm

i would not go, girls like that are nothing but trouble and will end up using you. i cant stand people who fake sh-t when there drunk. argh there the worst kind



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26 Nov 2007, 4:52 pm

richardbenson wrote:
i would not go, girls like that are nothing but trouble and will end up using you. i cant stand people who fake sh-t when there drunk. argh there the worst kind

I'm going to go even though is going to set me back £30, and is fancy dress. It might be fun. There are other people who I haven't seen in a while going. Like I said shoe could of changed, I don't have anything personal against her, I just couldn't handle her off loading onto me, so if she gets the wrong idea I just have to be frank about it.



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28 Nov 2007, 11:13 am

oh well then good luck :)



psych
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28 Nov 2007, 11:46 am

fancy dress would probably be the deal-breaker for me. What is the theme?