Unwritten rules about getting drunk certain situations

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Hi:
When I was 21, I lived with two roommates who were six and eight years older than I was and they both happened to be heavy drinkers. While the two were friends, they just took me for extra help in paying rent, bills and other chores and I never grew close to either.

The one time, the older of the two invited me to a dinner party that was Mardi Gras themed and there was alcohol flowing and I got drunk which my roommate and her several other did not approve of. Yet, they got drunk all the time and it was okay.
Nonetheless, here are the dynamics
1. My roommate, her friends and colleagues were older than them
2. I didn't know and of them and vice versa
3. I was invited but it was out of obligation

What were the unwritten rules here which caused them to condemn my drinking? I got drunk and loud because that's what I understood about the holiday.

There aren't any "rules."

They just wanted to stick it to you a little bit.

A "Mardi Gras themed" party, invariably, has drinking to get drunk as an essential component.

It was my roommate, who hosted the Mardi Gras party was the angriest with me and she drank and got drunk all the time. Why would she even humiliate me like that? However, she showed her anger in a passive-aggressive manner.

She did things like:

1. The morning after, I tried to talk to her but she said she was in a "Bad mood"
2. She was talking loud on the phone to someone on the phone by telling me that "I just wanted to kick her."
3. Wrote a note and in it she said
-I need you to clean the toilet which I refuse to clean and especially after someone vomits in it
-Also, don't eat the leftovers, they are for people in at work who didn't come to the party

Meanwhile, there were only a few of her guests who got annoyed at me for getting drunk
-Yeah we can hear you over here, calm down
-Knock it off
-You have had enough
-Maybe you should lie down

Now that I think about it, I remember that she and her boyfriend had some great friends who attended that party who I hit it off with. I actually forgot about them until now and they were very cool with me getting drunk and the like.

There aren't any rules. NTs who often drink themselves think that getting drunk is the most wonderful thing ever known to man, even if they're not getting drunk and you are, you are really great and really cool to them because you are drunk, no matter what social setting it is. They'll still clap their hands and laugh like babies at a puppet show.

So I'm just as baffled as you.

Personally, I do think there are rules about getting drunk but you didn't break any of them in a way that your roommate thinks. Your roommate sounds like she was jealous of how much the others liked you and wanted to humilite you to show her disapproval of that.
Regarding drinking and getting drunk - do it in a safe place.
Don't get drunk at work related events no matter who else is doing it.
Don't let someone else encourage you to drink, only drink if you know you have a safe place to crash, a non-drinking buddy to give you a ride home, and only around people ( at least one) who cares about your welfare.

You'll have to assess your own behaviors and tolerance to drinking and manage accordingly.
It's not the "getting drunk" that's an issue. It's the behavior one displays while drunk that is the issue.
Typical NT approach of being unable to address a real thing and instead latching on to the easy thing to attack.
It's hard to say "hey, you were really overbearing and loud when drunk last night and it annoyed me," and much easier to say "it's not okay to get drunk."

When you have people round to your house, there is an unwritten rule that the hosts do not get drunker than each other, and should not be drunker than the median drunkard.
Sounds odd, but you have to weigh up how drunk everyone else is and adjust your intake accordingly.

Well where I live the rules must be different then. Sadly being drunk is part of the culture I live in, and the more you drink, the more accepted you are by your peers, especially if you are young. I bet I'd have more friends than I do if I was into drinking.

But it seems that I am seen as an anomaly because I don't ever get drunk or drink at all. It's weird how a person who is a 0% drinker gets treated like they have an alcohol problem as much as an alcoholic does. That's how I'm made to feel anyway in this UK culture.

I think only certain religions don't drink here, like Muslims or Jehovah's witnesses. But it does seem that 99% of people I have ever come across do get drunk when they go out, or at least have been drunk before in their lives, even people who you'd least expect. The only thing that stops a Brit from getting drunk is religion or strict medical reasons. And then there's the people who want to get drunk but can't because they don't have the time or the money, or are designated drivers, but otherwise would get drunk. And then there's rare people like me who don't get drunk because they're a wimp.

Actually Joe90, I got drunk that time because I was having a hard time fitting in with my roommates as they not only heavy drinkers but they older. I thought that if I got drunk at my roommate's party, I would be more accepted when the opposite happened.

My roommate, who hosted the party did not get drunk herself but she did such on several other occasions. However, she had an attitude with me prior to getting drunk

1. I never went to drinking parties in high school so jello shots were new to me. I thought they seemed like the coolest way to get drunk. Her response was "Where have you been?"
2. She would not let me answer the door when her first guests arrived because she wanted them to know that it was her house
3. When she taking pictures of people, she shut me out of group photos and only wanted her friends in and colleagues in them.

Keep in mind this situation happened years ago but it was so baffling and traumatic that I am currently working through it with a counselor and other related sources.

First of all, she invited me to that party but was not all that excited about seeing me there. As I have been working through it, my guess is that she invited me for the sake of obligation rather than really wanting me to be there.

I like what Beady said about the her being jealous of me because her friends liked me and that never occurred to me. This whole time, I thought she was just mad at me for embarrassing her in front of her friends. It does make sense based on her actions. Especially when it comes to the picture taking and leftover piece