I run into more phony and insecure people

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One of the things that I have noticed more and more are people who are just plain phony. You even try and talk to them about anything and they seem short but polite at the same time. Even if you are networking with them, they are like that.

If you tell what you do for a living it's "That's awesome!" "Oh wow!" "That's cool!" They also smile at you. Then they leave and you can hear them quietly making fun of you to other people who they do like. They seem to act like you have to be a member of some club just to be liked.

It really bugs me and it makes it even harder to meet people though I am trying to hard to learn social skills. No matter how I try to use them, people still snub me.

Polite jerks?

I hate it when that happens and it’s largely why I stopped going to the Meet Up group I used to be a member of. I would bring up something interesting but the most responses I would get would be languid “That’s cool.” type replies or apathy while if the subject of beer, tattoos, and sex came up, those people would go “f**k yeah!” or chuckle stupidly. This was supposed to be a science fiction interest group but it didn’t truly reflect that.

Aquafelix,

Yeah, I would say that's an adequate description of them and I seem to run into more and more people like it all the time. It is getting to the point that I prefer my own company.

Marnkis,
They were not true nerds, you are. True nerds would probably drink root beer and play D&D while talking deep discussion of fandom. They sound more like a superficial social club to me where "Being cool" is a thing. As for tattoos, I hate seeing people destroy their body like that. To me, it's making an excuse to self-cut.

I was out of town over the weekend and did at an Air BNB where I rented my room in a townhouse where I shared a home with other guests and the hosts. The other guests where two different couples but they were interested in the party and heavy drinking scene. Whereas, I am more of a tourist who likes to go sightseeing and drinking a beer or two and listen to live music if it's not too loud. Both couples tended to clique together and seem to bond and connect. However, when I told them what I was doing they pulled what I am talking about above.

When attending seminars, I try to not socialize with the other attendees for the reasons others have cited above.

Instead, I go off by myself to sight-see, watch a movie, enjoy a meal, or just ride the buses all over town. The next day, when the others ask where I was, I just smile and say something vague like, "Out having a good time".

Fake cordiality has to be stupid NT trick #1, or in the first five at least.

After a while of knowing a person I can usually tell whether they are genuine or false. I am very good at picking up on personality and intentions.

I was fooled by a woman once, but so was everybody else (let's just call her Jane). At first she seemed so kind and friendly and she chatted to everyone. I got to know her and I found her fun and easy to talk to. But she started badmouthing all the people who liked her, even though I still witnessed her being all loving and friendly with them. One of them said to her that her mother was in hospital and she was going to visit her today, and Jane was all sympathetic, but as soon as the woman's back was turn, Jane said to me, "I don't even care!" I found that rather nasty of her, even though the woman didn't know she said it. Also she used to act like her s**t doesn't stink, and tell lies to make her look high-class, even though something told me she wasn't.
Then one day me and Jane fell out, just because she hinted that she was using her boyfriend just for money and it seemed she was stringing him along. I just told her that he's going to get his feelings hurt one day because it sounded like he loved her, and she yelled at me and told me never to speak to her again. And she literally never spoke to me again even when she had to serve me (she was a regular bus driver on my bus). She actually hated me. And when I got a cleaning job at the bus garage where she was based at, she told the others how pleased she was for me and how good news it was. But that was fake too, because she hated me, and not long after I started she resigned. I assume it was because I had started and she didn't want to be working in the same bus company as me.

Yes, she was the fakest person I have ever met.

Before this descends into an NT bashing thread I'll make a couple of points. NT folk use polite chatter starting with the weather or some neutral subject. About 95% of the time NT chatter ends after a couple of polite comments, smiles and then people walk away. The difference is that non-introverted NTs will happily do this multiple times in a day. If the conditions are right (common ground/interests/they like the look of each other) there's mutual compatibility and the conversation switches from the weather to common interests. If things become even more comfortable then the next switch is personal questions about the other person. If there's even closer compatibility in terms of socioeconomic status, marriage, social activities then there's a rough commitment to catch up again...or meet up later on etc...

I wouldn't take it personally. There's a codified sequence of conversation, non-verbal cues, dress, socioeconomic compatibility and non-intimate physical attraction (recognition there's sympathico in dress/speech/manners etc).

If any of this is not in sync with the other person/people/couples then they may politely (or sometimes impolitely) turn their attention elsewhere. I am sure this is what happened with two couples you were trying to be friendly with.

There is thus a process of social ritual when NTs engage each other. It's not really phony so much as a ritualised dance involving a mix of small talk, carefully choreographed facial expressions and non-verbal gestures.

I have said plenty of times that NTs aren't that different to chimpanzees who bond with other chimps by searching for each other's hair lice. Humans just add language.

Aspies who want to engage NTs just need to learn the social rules not unlike a foreigner with rudimentary English language skills who is visiting the United States for the first time and has no idea how to approach and engage with an American.

"insecure"?

some lil dipshit on the bus told a woman that the reason why i sagged my pants was because i was "insecure".

you can't measure "security".

"insecure" in what?

why should anyone be "secure"?

maybe precious lil "people" are too secure in themselves, out of proportion to their skills

s**t