Explaining to my parents I don't want my history monitored

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rktho
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10 Jan 2020, 7:23 pm

So my parents got MeetCircle a few months ago. MeetCircle is a device connected to your WiFi that allows parents to filter websites, set limits, and track the search history of every device in the house-- even a visitor's. That part's not actually relevant to me since I still live with my parents, but it creeps me out. I don't feel like the history monitoring is an ethical tool. But, you know, parents' gotta parent, and I have five neurotypical siblings.

I've been using my data to avoid having my history tracked. As long as the device I'm using isn't connected to the WiFi, they can't see me. But there are times I've been forced to log in temporarily, such as when my phone hadn't been backed up in weeks. I noticed that my siblings were using a site, paper-io.com, which had previously been blocked under the filter. When I logged in, it did not appear to be filtered. I visited the MeetCircle dashboard, which I had to Google because my usual way of visiting it was by entering paper-io.com and being met with a block screen. When I had first come across this dashboard, it was connected to a profile in my dad's name and showed a graph of my Internet usage, but not a list of my history as that just gets sent straight to my dad's phone app. When I visited it again, it said my device was not connected to a profile, and all the charts were at zero. The device name was listed, and it was a different name than my laptop's actual name, meaning it must be a name my parents assigned to the device. It also said I had been filtered, but since apparently no sites were blocked, I assume that was more of a passive thing. I was confused by this and casually asked my mom if we'd gotten rid of the MeetCircle. She said that she just hadn't installed the filter yet. That made me scratch my head because the filter was definitely there before.

I've realized that even though nothing's being filtered, my search history could still be being monitored. I'm very uncomfortable with people being able to view my search history. I don't even particularly like viewing it myself and clear it periodically. I've talked to my mom before about it and she conceded I was old enough that I didn't have to have my history monitored. But she hasn't actually done anything about it. And until now, I haven't realized she could. But I did a little more research and found out that a device marked "unmanaged" will be completely unaffected by the system. No recorded history, no filter, no limits. But every time I bring up how uncomfortable I am with the MeetCircle, my mom reacts with suspicion. She has an "if you have nothing to hide why aren't you comfortable with your activities being made public to the rest of the family" mentality. How do I ask her to mark my phone and laptop as unmanaged without making her think I want to buy porn on the black market when I'm just really uncomfortable with my parents being privy to my activities, however innocuous?



Abstract_Logic
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13 Jan 2020, 1:55 am

I don't know how reasonable your parents are, but you could try asking them to read this article: https://falkvinge.net/2012/07/19/debunk ... g-to-fear/

The fact that your mom believes you're old enough to not need to be monitored is a good indication that she is reasonable about your privacy and autonomy.


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Fnord
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13 Jan 2020, 9:00 am

As long as you live in their house, and as long as they are paying for the Internet connection (and the equipment that connects to it), you have to put up with their actions and the rules they make. It sucks, but that's life.


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Abstract_Logic
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13 Jan 2020, 12:24 pm

Fnord wrote:
As long as you live in their house, and as long as they are paying for the Internet connection (and the equipment that connects to it), you have to put up with their actions and the rules they make. It sucks, but that's life.


I agree. The OP could request that their parents not monitor them, and it's worth trying to convince them that their privacy and autonomy are important, but it's still ultimately up to the homeowners.


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