Being Perceived As An Adult

Post Reply New Topic

Does anyone have any tips on being percieved as adult?

I know some of it is out of one's control and some has to do with posture, appearance, clear communication, manners, doing things independent of other's direction or approval,
not just standing there and waiting, not speaking in a very shy voice...

What else?

What you described is assertiveness.

Competence is another, as is maturity. These go a long ways. In society, it helps to be perceived as one who does not cling to stereotypically juvenile interests. This includes Pokemon, gaming, other stuff...

There's a website called The Art of Manliness that has a lot of competence and maturity stuff, social skills and all that, which you might enjoy. Women too would probably be able to put it to use; after all, some skills everybody needs to know.

Go for it! The first step is wanting to be mature and adult and that is half the battle.

Many people do social masking, mirroring the actions of extrovert NTs and much has been written about social masking. But there is another type of masking. Some male Aspies mask as adults. Deep inside me I have the attributes of a 5 year old. When you look at the criteria of child development, that is where I fit. The world is a place of constant wonder. I enjoy where I am. In order to integrate into this world, I just masks as an introverted adult. This is much easier to do than wearing a social mask as an extrovert. Consider that almost half the world's population are introverts and the other half extroverts. I have been doing this for 71 years now. I am happy. I have worked for four decades and then retired. I am married for 45 years and raised children and now have grandchildren.

Borromeo, thank you for pointing me towards The Art Of Manliness! They seem to have a lot of useful and entertaining articles. I really like their article on how to develop warmth.

jimmy m, that is a really good story. Congratulations on your grandchildren! What are they like?

Chemicalsandotherpeopleswords--1) I always think "other people swords" when I see your username and think that is a funny name for a swordsmith's shop. 2) glad to hear the Art of Manliness worked out for you and had some positive fun stuff to look at. Be prepared to read about Teddy Roosevelt ad infinitum.

Jimmy M., you sound like you would enjoy the writings of G.K. Chesterton. He wrote a lot about that sort of constant wonder--it's not that it's immaturity, it's that we grow mentally/spiritually old & decrepit through our callous refusal to enjoy life.

I have two daughters and 5 grandchildren. In a sense I raised them a little like "Little House on the Prairie". We moved to the countryside and built our own homestead in the wilderness. I taught them skills but also helped them integrate into society.



I think what I identify most is with the fictional character Peter Pan by James Matthew Barrie. In a sense I have the ability to fly. By that I mean I can travel between the imaginary world and the real world whenever I want. And neither world constrains me.

Borromeo, ooh, I love Teddy Roosevelt and his national parks. Thank you! I know an odd amount of people who have stories about swords.

jimmy m, that sounds fantastic. I want to do that in another life. And, Peter Pan, that's marvelous!

I generally control my impulses well enough to superficially be considered "enthusiastic" (or eccentric). And when I talk about what I know I am adult-like. When the topic or environment is unfamiliar or overstimulating then I have to be quiet or very, very, very deliberate in my speech to maintain the image. When I think nobody is watching, I walk on curbs, run up stairs, tap dance down the stairs...

If I had my way I would stop to absorb my environment, but I keep myself on the move instead to appear Adultish.

I learned to walk into places (job interviews, for example) like I own the place. It takes practice, but it works. Never walk into a situation like you don't belong there - it ensures failure.