How not to talk too much

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Hi:
I wanted to put it out there that I have the tendency to as other put it "Talk too much" or "Dominate the conversation." What are some helpful tips in not talking so much? I don't want to keep coming across as annoying or as self-absorbed.

Ask questions.

I used to find tgat really difficult, but I think I'm getting better. I swung too far the other way though and used to be silent.

I usually start with, "have you had a busy day?"

Maybe, "how's the family?" "What are you doing over the holidays?" "How are your pets?" "How is your job going?" "Have you been to the cinema lately? What did you see?"

Thanks, after posting this, I did some reading about not dominating the conversation.
1. I am only supposed to talk for 20 seconds and then pause
2. Wait at least 40 seconds
3. During that time, think about what to say and what is needed to be said vs what is not.


What are some other good tips

Try listening to the other person instead of thinking about what you are going to say next. Easier said than done. I have ADHD-Combined Type and I impulsively interrupt people all the time.

I have read that listening and thinking about what needs to be said versus not what to be said should be considered. I also read that if I am nervous going to a big event accepts it while minimizing what I say. In the meantime, listen and take deep breaths.

Anyway, I practiced these techniques on Monday when I went out by
1. Listening to my Uber driver and let him take a lead on his life while I asked him questions
2. Only talking to my servers about my order rather than filibustering with them

On Christmas, I tried sharing a story with a friend but he kept interrupting me so I took it as a hint that he was not interested.

Practice can make perfect. So it sounds like you are going in the right direction.

Yeah,
I realized that I don't have to talk all the time and fill empty spaces with chatty things that turn people off because they think I am
1. Annoying
2. Conceited or self-absorbed
3. That I am not interested in that person or people

I went to a party on Tuesday and I practiced mingling with other people but not talking too much and giving them a chance to connect.

I am not one for small talk. But I am fairly good at large talk, like giving presentations. One of the things that I always bring along is a prop. It is like "show and tell". Whatever I want to talk about, I bring a concrete example of it to the presentation. It is something tangible. It livens up the presentation. People relate to the tangible item. They can hold it in their hands and touch it. And then I explain it. It captures their focus and makes whatever point I am trying to convey real.

A prop also helps me convey a message. It settles my mind just like stimming. I just hold it and I feel self-confident.

What can a prop look like?

Was it worthwhile for you? I am capable of this but dislike the restraint. Albeit, in work staff meetings, I find I am now comfortable waiting to see that others speak if the issue I have in mind is minor (and written down).

I prefer "Aspergese". I'm quite capable of listening when someone is talking about something interesting. I fanaticize about not talking at my ASD support group, but have yet to manage that --- I'm someone who lives big and has big needs, and is expressive. You know "big", as in I leave my house and go places. That's a lot to manage!! !

This sounds smart used prop before once ,it really helped ,am trying to stay on tpoic but sure as i do ,i interject some unusual connection , and change topic
Then can go on and on ,many times catch myself .practice smiling at what looks like appropriate times ,(when others are smiling or laughing) not analyzing it too much . But if sense bad things might be laughed at ,have tried to leave., present company . (since was friggin younger than 6yrs old).
So still trying . But if comes to details can be way over outspoken to anyone.
Much to my bad luck ,(speaking truth to power can leave you appearing insolent and raise the judges. bad mood...oooppppss.lolz

A prop can look like almost anything. If I was talking about how a major tree, the American Chestnut tree, became extinct, I might begin my talk about how more than a century ago, nearly four billion American chestnut trees were growing in the eastern U.S. They were among the largest, tallest, and fastest-growing trees. The wood was rot-resistant, straight-grained, and suitable for furniture, fencing, and building. The nuts fed billions of wildlife, people and their livestock. It was almost a perfect tree, that is, until a blight fungus killed it more than a century ago. The chestnut blight has been called the greatest ecological disaster to strike the world’s forests in all of history. The American chestnut tree survived all adversaries for 40 million years, then disappeared within 40.

[Then I might reach into my pocket and pulled out an American Chestnut and raise it up into the air and then pass it around.] But maybe this story doesn't need to end here. Because a few Chestnut trees survived in little pockets scattered here and there which survived the blight. And some people like myself are now growing these blight resistant trees in order to end their extinction and make them one of Americas great trees again.

[So the chestnut in this case is a prop. I have to be a little careful because it has many spikes like a porcupine. Not something you would cuddle with.]

[Then I might use another prop, a small CD player with a CD of the "The Christmas Song".]

Then I would say that I have a dream. Someday in the early winter, I will start up a campfire in my yard and then bring my grandchildren next to the warmth of the campfire and play a song. This song: [I use this second prop and play the song.]

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

And I will take several American chestnuts and roast them on the campfire. This is an early American tradition that has not been repeated for almost a hundred years, because there were no American chestnuts to roast because they were extinct. But no more.

[So props are a way to make a point, to add emphasis and feeling, into telling a story.]

I tend to either talk to much and send conversations towards directions others did not intend to go so I can relate to the conversation more, or I go quiet and go into my own daydreamy world. It is an all or nothing type of thing.

If the conversation is about one of my special interests, I do find things easier.
I talk a lot to also explore my own thoughts in a conversation if that makes sense.

Do you have a tendency to "talk too much" primarily about particular topics (e.g. special interests), or just in general?

Thank you for saving chestnut trees.
Now jimmy must ask , please? Tell if 71 is really your actual age.?
It's very important to me ? Would like to know please ?

My actual age is 71. But deep inside me I am still a boy of 5. I live in a world full of wonder. Each day I get up and explore the world and its mysteries. So my Avatar is actually a photograph of me when I was around 5. It represents what I look like inside my shell, which is my physical body.