How Social would you want to be?

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Right now I'm a 2, but I want to be a 3.
Definitions of the choices

10 Life of the Party. Self-explanatory, you want to be the center of attention and the star of the show, you know a lot of people and lots of people like you.

9 Party Organizer, You love to socialize, you're the type of person that's always hosting get-togethers and inviting everyone you know.

8 Socialite, You're well known at the clubs around town, you go every weekend to drink, dance, or talk.

7 Salesman, You're one of these people that go out and advertise stuff and don't mind giving speeches, presentations, and talking to others to sell things.

6 Part of a Clique, You've got a group of people you belong to that get together for events every now and then. (Star wars fans, Anime Convention, Gun Show, Comedy Club, those sorts of tings.

5 Normal, You're normal, you have friends, family, you might go out for drinks after work. You host a party every once in a long while if you can. You celebrate holidays with friends and family.

4 Reluctant Party Goer, You're a bit private, you go out and socialize like normal, but tend to keep to yourself. You go to parties when you're invited, but you don't like to be around so many people.

3 Reclusive Neighbor. People around the neighborhood, see you every now and then, they know you. But you don't go out of you're way to introduce yourself. You might have a family, you might have a couple friends, but you tend to stay away from people.

2 Social Hermit, You don't leave the house, you don't meet people. You probably have a family, you probably don't have friends.

1 Forever Alone. Pretty Self Explanatory, You don't leave the house, you don't have a family, you don't have friends, and you want to be left alone.

1 to 4 by choice and lifestyle. I'm asocial.

What I would want to be is being capable of being an 11 -- can persuade and negotiate varying archetypes and groups, can do more than host and organize parties of varying kinds, has connections and can maintain long lists of contacts, has friends in higher and 'lower' places, can do any roles from in between to a leader, is both a person who keeps others together and a 'bridge' to the 'systems', can go in between and council and mediate, etc.

In other words, simply being socially functional.
Yet still parties, hangouts, relationships and names while don't interests me, they're a bonus and a good means for social function.


Behind the dysfunction, I can make a 9 based on my experience and if I have all my mental faculties. Not imagined, not a joke, not a dream, not a theory...

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11, huh, you're talking about being a Leader or perhaps Ambassador is a better word. That's ambitious. I don't know why you would call such a thing simply being socially functional.
I'd say very few neurotypicals are even capable of doing everything you list. Specifically, the ability to persuade and negotiate varying archetypes and groups is a very rare skill, it's a highly marketable skill too. Having friends in 'higher' and 'lower' places is also highly marketable and not very easy to get. (I mean the whole reason to send people to Ivy League schools is to get those "Higher" friends.)

"Can do more than host and organize parties of varying kinds?" Um? That phrase sounds odd? There's a lot more to being social than just partying. It's very complex and there are lots of unwritten rules and manners needed to be observed in lots of situations. A lot of activities have to be done to maintain a social network.

The poll is how social do you want to be? Normal, would be socially functional, yet your answer seems to imply that 1-10 is not socially functional, how come?

"Not imagined, not a joke, not a dream, not a theory..." No one is judging you Edna3362, you have no need to defend yourself and I see no one attacking you.

I'm probably 4 and am fine with it, though being 5 wouldn't hurt. However, I'd like to be more socially skilled. Even if someone is really social, that usually does more harm than good if the person has no social skills.

I chose 6, part of a clique. I've always wanted to be accepted as part of a group of friends, like the boys in South Park or The Inbetweeners. I've always wanted to have that.
When I was at school I sometimes was part of a group, and I was happy and comfortable - then all of a sudden someone will overanalyze a harmless, minor quirk of mine and start to ghost me or leave me out of the group, and the rest of the "group members" would copy and I was back to having 0 friends again. It was very hurtful when they just decided out of nowhere to exclude me from the group without even considering my feelings.

I’m a 2, and I’d like to stay a 2. Even people with Asperger Syndrome are better at socializing than me. I’m coming to accept that It’s just something I’m incapable of.

You want to have social mobility between social classes, I understand better now. But social classes are pretty rigid even compared to economic classes. You can observe the phenomenon even in High School, where people formed groups and there weren't a lot of people (or any I think) that had membership in all the groups. There's no Nerdy Jock Emo Cool kid, at least I have yet to see one.

What's a walking miracle? I never said anything about miracles?

I guess I understand what you are trying to say, you want to be very social sometimes, you want to be reclusive sometimes. That's a pretty normal way to feel I think.

I hope you can get past your frustration in some way, it's very damaging to emotional health. Granted I myself am extremely frustrated and I don't see myself getting over it soon.

I disagree with your ranking.

I'm not capable of participating in most parties. Unfocused multi-person chit chat, where the topic changes every 10 seconds or so, is utterly confusing and frustrating to me.

The only kinds of social events I can participate in well are ones with a clearly defined structure and focus, and where I know in advance what to expect.

Also I am just not interested in attending any social event at all unless it revolves around a theme that interests me.

Also I'm not good at sales.

However, I have a long history of organizing groups and events. If I'm in charge of an event -- or if, for whatever reason, I'm the natural center of attention -- then I'm in a position to structure things the way I need them to be structured. Also, if I'm in charge of an event, I try to keep an eye out for people who appear lonely or awkward, or who are being ignored by other attendees, and I try to do what I can to help them feel more comfortable, such as introducing them to people I think they would enjoy talking to.

EDIT: Years ago I used to know a guy who was a former local radio DJ and who then worked as an emcee at large parties, but who had a lot of trouble with one-on-one conversation.

So there's no single linear scale of social abilities. A lot of autistic people have spiky ability profiles as far as socializing is concerned, just like a lot of us have spike cognitive profiles.

I'm exactly how I like it and true to my nature: a mix between 1, 2 and 3

Reclusive Neighbor and social hermit. People around the neighborhood see you every now and then, but they don't know you at all. You have the family you were born into and love and appreciate them. You only leave the house when you need to, you don't meet people unless you have to. You don't have friends and you want to be left alone.

I think the OP is asking how social would you WANT to be, not how social you ARE.

My ambition, and my actuality, is somewhere between 3 and 4—but probably closer to 3.

@Joe90, exactly, it'd be nice to know how social you actually are. But I just want to know how many Autistics actually want to be social vs asocial, what level of sociability is comfortable for most autists.

@Mona Pereth, It's a pretty informal poll if you disagree with the ranking feel free to post your own example/rating, as I said before there is a lot more to socializing than just parties. I just made the poll because I had 5 minutes and I was a bit curious, it's not something I'm going to be basing my world view on.
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It's true that there's no linear scale of social abilities, life isn't that easy or 2-Dimensional. Unfortunately, you can't actually make a realistic linear ranking, because most people are different and don't exactly fit in neat cookie-cutter boxes. That's why in a lot of Autism tests (and General personality tests) the choices are

1) Definitely Disagree
2) Disagree
3) Slightly Disagree
4) Neither Agree or Disagree
5) Slightly Agree
6) Agree
7) Definitely Agree

And even with all these questions and answers, they're not very reliable or very accurate. The best way to get a diagnosis is to get an official diagnosis. So if I really wanted to know how social Autistic people wanted to be I'd do numerous polls with unbiased and well-developed questions and answers and look up or perform studies on the subject.

But as I said it's informal, if you don't want to select an option, don't and feel free to post your own.

I think of myself as 2 or 3, but in reality, I am a 6...there are people I like to meet up with, friends in my life (at a distance but that is why I like cars) and there is sometimes even phonograph club to go to because senior citizens aren't diagnosed autistic, they just go to antique-phonograph-collector clubs and "the swap." (Which is DOPE because you can get 1920s jazz records for a quarter dollar apiece.)

I picked number 6, because I've always wished I could be accepted by a little group of friends. It's never happened and probably never will - the few people I know are my wife's friends, but none of them would speak to me without her. So in real life I'm a 3.