How does one get invited?

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Hi:
How does one get invited to things like lunch/coffee, movies, movie nights, etc. vs being acknowledged and people having conversations at a organization?

There seems to be no exact formula.  However, I have noticed that those who are invited to "things like lunch/coffee, movies, movie nights, et cetera" also do a lot of inviting.  Most are also physically attractive, of pleasant disposition, and/or lead interesting or exciting lives outside of work.

I would like to lead some interesting conversations, what do you recommend? I also would like to find things that are positive which people enjoy.

People only invite you if they feel you are compatible enough to be part of their circle or clique, and if they feel that you aren't, no matter how nice you are to them, then they won't invite you. Unless they're the completely selfless type that like to invite you because you're nice, but those types of NTs aren't easy to find. Usually non-NTs are more likely to invite you.

I had this same problem when I used to work with this obnoxious, narcissistic, self-obsessed, mouthy girl. Myself and this girl and 3 guys were all in our 20s and got on well, but they often made plans to go out together at weekends and never even thought of inviting me. And I knew it was because I wasn't into drinking or clubs (even though their plans didn't always involve drinking or clubs). Plus they all smoked cigarettes except me. I think that is pretty shallow, but I only got upset about it because they'd make plans right in front of me and then talk about it after the day their outing was held, and it just made me feel so left out. Now the girl doesn't work there any more and I don't even think she's really in touch with the guys there any more and they don't sit and make plans in front of me, so I don't need to get so upset about it any more. I think I just saw this girl as a threat because she sucked up all the attention while I often got left standing like a spare part.

My aunt had the same problem last Christmas. All of her female work colleagues arranged a girly night out, but they all agreed to not tell my aunt because for some reason they didn't want her to come, even though she's worked with most of them for 10 years and she knows them just as well as they know each other, so saying "we don't know you that well" is no excuse. It's just plain bitchiness. My aunt only found via Facebook when she saw photos of all of her female work colleagues having drinks and food together. Ouch.

How to lead some interesting conversations: Find a topic you are interested in. Learn enough to ask good questions. Find someone who is also interested in the topic. Ask them those questions. Learn from them. See if they are interested in learning from you.

IR

That's... a good question. I haven't been to a friend's party since... 2012? And that one wasn't even a party among friends but one where her relatives came. I don't even remember when was the last time I was asked to hang out; usually, I'm the one asking. But on the bright side, once I became an adult I haven't really been turned down much when I've asked someone to hang out.