struggling with wanting to socialise in adult society

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I'm really Interested in opinions and if others feel similar. Over the last couple of years I have struggled with fitting in to the social norm of adult life and socialising and friendships.

Various friends I had over the last 10 years I've lost due to moving away 30 miles with my girlfriend who is now my wife but still tried to stay in touch, changing jobs, and a few have been not very nice people so I decided to end the friendship.
So I have now have a couple of friends but struggle to see the point in socialising with them, keeping in touch as I find them very flat and uninteresting.
I feel the same about my wife's friends. She has a lot of friends she has known for years and it seems to be two factors with my friends and hers.
I find nearly all of them really boring and uninteresting. When we meet up, the conversations are always the same superficial level conversations, how's your family, how's my wife's work, nearly all of them talk about their kids a lot of the conversation and that seems to be the catch up that satisfies people.
I just find it extremely boring and don't have kids so struggle with listening about them along with the other boring topics. Also I find people recently also seem to be talking about themselves more and more and less interested in what you have to say.
The other point I just can't understand is in the adult world as people are busy with their lives, you generally only contact each other occasionally and only meet up once or twice a year, sometimes less. My wife seems content with this occasionally catch up with friends.
I just don't see the point. I find if you only ever see someone once a year for example your not likely to have a deep connection, have banter and have a bond with those people.
When your a young adult you would see your friends regularly every few days or week, at college ect, going out on the weekend, but it all seems to change in adult life.

I like to have close connections with friends where you talk about anything, shared interests, films, TV, computer games,hobbies, your relationships, feelings about things, have a laugh and banter about things, have intellectual conversations about the world and politics, religion ect.
I would be happy to hang out together even if every month or two and also share experiences and do things with friends but can't seem to find this happens in society and in adult life.
Does anyone else feel like this?

You don't have to keep in contact with your old, boring friends if you don't want to. Sotimes friendship fades, that's natural. Just remember to be polite about it if they contact you.

As for your wife's friends, it's not like you have to like them, but for her sake and your marriage's sake you need to be able to get along with them. Do you always go with your wife when she meets up with them? Could you skip on some occassions or leave before her?

Those are normal, every day topics. It's fine not to like them, but it's also fine to talk about them. If you'd like to talk about something else, you can try to steer the conversation to another direction. Like when they ask you what you've been doing, you could mention some good new movie you've watched and ask if the others have seen it/what movies they've seen recently.

People can still have a deep connection even if they haven't seen each other in years, especially if they used to see each other often and formed a strong bond back then. It depends on individuals how long it takes to form a bond and how to make it last. Kind of like how some people could never imagine starting a romantic relationship with someone they've only known for a few months and others don't have trouble doing so after just few days.

Of course, there's also the possibility that there isn't any bonds and they're fine with that. I think that, for some people, the kind of friendship where you can just have small talk and such is enough.

Thanks for the feedback, I will definitely be taking on board and the leaving early idea sounds good.
My wife already lets me stay at home for some of our social meet ups and has been understanding. Even more so now I have had my recent diagnosis.
I think I do find it a little sad as she just wants to be proud of me and have me with her to see people and I'm still just feeling angry and frustrated that I don't just naturally bond with these people in the way I want or get them.
On a good note, all her friends have positive things to say about me and do like me. Also sounds a good idea about putting things into the conversation that I would like to talk about.
Again thanks for the input. It's much appreciated.

Forming close friendships is an expensive process, and adults already have much of their bandwidth occupied. My regret is not developing friendships earlier, although, others have said they tend not to survive the changes people go through over time anyway. There are long stretches when my interest in creating friendships fade away, though every now and then, the lack of connection: another mind to get into, and another soul to empathize with is the perfect obstacle to happiness.

It’s better to be a persistent reader than to force yourself to make friends.

People often lament about what they “don’t have.” I lament that I’m not a persistent reader more than I lament about the lack of a best friend.

YES.

I was just thinking about it this morning. My friends bore me.

Just be a thankful you're wife only feels the need to meet up a couple of times a year. Another wife would make you socialise more frequently.

I'm not married, but I'm stuck with regular, not overly intelligent, single, middle aged women. Yawn.

I have varied interests and it's so difficult to meet someone I can share what I love with. My friends will tolerate me dragging them round an art gallery so at least if I put up with their boring stuff they will put up with my boring stuff, so I think I have good friends and I like their personalities. They're loyal people.

But I'm bored. I come to WP for a bit of a debate with interesting people.

I find it really difficult to connect with people. I feel nothing deeply for anyone except close family.