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LittleYellowDeer
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21 Apr 2020, 3:14 am

My friend was talking about the drama that went between their parakeets, and I brought up making a reality show, meaning it as a bit, just a joke. But they starting talking about how they could actually make it happen, needing a better camera and audio system and budget (they ignored my pun Budgiet :() and they got upset I kept making jokes through their ideas, and said it was really hurting them
They said I need to pick up the cues that someone’s being serious and told me to try finding some articles (haven’t found any so far) but I found this site and thought I’d try asking this way...



Mountain Goat
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21 Apr 2020, 3:24 am

Hello.
Clues are not easy to pick up on. I have a neighbour at the bottom of the lane who communicates using a non direct approach we call "The hint system" and I don't get hints. I often end up in trouble.
At the opposite end of thinfs I see a those with a direct approach and this is a lot easier, but it can feel over critical.
We are all different so all can have missunderstandings, and the more we may struggle to read cues (Where some cues maybe obvious to some but to others they just don't read them!), but if you have a good friend, she or he will forgive you and if not, then try to find another friend.



Summer_Twilight
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21 Apr 2020, 8:10 am

LittleYellowDeer wrote:
My friend was talking about the drama that went between their parakeets, and I brought up making a reality show, meaning it as a bit, just a joke. But they starting talking about how they could actually make it happen, needing a better camera and audio system and budget (they ignored my pun Budgiet :() and they got upset I kept making jokes through their ideas, and said it was really hurting them
They said I need to pick up the cues that someone’s being serious and told me to try finding some articles (haven’t found any so far) but I found this site and thought I’d try asking this way...


Ok, that sounds like they found your joke to be "Annoying," and got upset because you didn't pick up on any cues like body language, indicating that you stop. However, how often does this friend get upset and criticize you like that? How often do they overreact?



Joe90
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22 Apr 2020, 6:47 pm

It's one of those situations where if an Aspie makes harmless jokes about an NT's pain the NT gets all upset and bangs on about how his feelings are hurt, but if an NT makes harmless jokes about an Aspie's pain and the Aspie gets upset the NT will always say "I'm just trying to make you feel better, lighten up and get a sense of humour!"


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