Signs that you're in a bad friendship.

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I thought this might serve as a helpful discussion. Here are some possible signs that you might want to reconsider your friendship:

- They don't respect personal boundaries after being directly told not to get so close. In fact, they find it funny that it bothers you and do it deliberately to watch you squirm.

- You fight more often than friendly conversation.

- This friend has made friends with people that you really wouldn't get on with, and they've started acting like them.

- Your friend judges everything you do. They make you feel bad about not mastering a skill quick enough despite your attempts. Especially if it gets to the point where you dread seeing them because you know you're bound to feel bad after your conversations. It goes beyond constructive and you no longer want to try anymore as a result.

- They pressure you to drink. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you'll never find friends who are OK with you not drinking much (if at all). It's not a requirement to drink alcohol. My friends are fine with me not drinking much.

- Your friend tries to convince you that romance is dead and that you're in the wrong for declining people who show interest in you when you're not interested. They tell you that you'll never actually find love and that this is all you'll ever have the chance at.

Feel free to add to this list.

Or;
-said friend drops you on a whim and does this a few times a year.

- They treat ok when it's just the two of you but ignore you or treat you badly in front of others.

- They ask you for favours, help or money but never help you when you need it. Or they incessantly talk about their problems and never listen to yours.

- they turn up uninvited three or more times a week at dinner time when they’re skint, but you never see than when they’re in the money.

Yep, really happened with one guy: he got very shouty when I pointed his behaviour out
(That’s also a bad sign isn’t it?)

Wow

There's literally not one single person in the world who has the privilege of showing up uninvited at my house.

^ He was a very paranoid conspiracy theorist, I took pity on him for a while because he was utterly friendless - then the pattern of user behaviour and entitled attitude became gradually clear to me.
After we fell out I heard on the grapevine that he’d had a breakdown and been taken in by his older brother: I hope he’s got a better perspective on life, but have no desire to see him again.

Signs You May Be In a Toxic Relationship

1) All take, no give. Any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will leave you in the negative.

2) Feeling drained. If, instead of feeling happy and productive, you're always mentally, emotionally, and even physically drained, it's time to re-evaluate.

3) Lack of trust. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas: You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

4) Hostile atmosphere. Constant anger is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should never be around hostility because it makes you feel unsafe.

5) Occupied with imbalance. A one-sided relationship can never run smoothly.

6) Constant judgment. In judgmental relationships, criticism is not intended to be helpful but rather to belittle.

7) Persistent unreliability. Mutual reliability is important to building trust and is at the core of any good relationship.

8) Nonstop narcissism. If the other party's interest in the relationship is really just a reflection of him or herself, it's impossible to achieve any kind of balance.

9) Loaded with negative energy. It's almost impossible for anything positive to come out of a relationship filled with negativity.

10) Lack of communication. Without communication, there is no relationship. Period.

11) Continuous disrespect. Mutual respect is the first requirement of a good partnership.

12) Mutual avoidance. If you spend your time avoiding each other, that tells you all you need to know.

13) Insufficient support. If you cannot turn to each other, is there a reason to be in the relationship?

14) Ceaseless control issues. If one person is in control, or a constant tug-of-war is going on, you're probably spending too much energy navigating the relationship.

15) Never-ending drama. Good relationships improve your life; they don't make it messier.

16) Persistent self-betrayal. If you find yourself changing your opinions to please someone else, you're in a damaging relationship.

17) Constant challenges. All relationships go through challenges, but good relationships work through them.

18) Feelings of unworthiness. It's an insidious thing negative relationships do: They leave you feeling you don't deserve any better.

19) Vibes of entrapment. Is the other person a positive force in your life, or are you there because you don't see any way out?

20) Always undermining. If a relationship can't be reassuring, it's failing a crucial test.

21) Empty pretense. Smiles don't always mean everything is OK.

22) Packed with uncertainty. When nothing is sure, forward movement feels impossible.

23) Brimming with envy. Partners are never equal in all aspects, but that should be a source of strength, not of a source of disruptive envy.

24) Shortage of autonomy. Anyone in any relationship should have the right to say no.

25) Permeates victimhood. You can't move onto the future if you're tied to someone who's still stuck in the past.

26) Diminishes your self-worth. When you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't acknowledge your value, it can be hard to see it yourself.

27) Laced with dishonesty. Every lie between partners undercuts a little bit of the relationship.

28) Makes you unhappy. If someone is constantly making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person go.

29) Feels uncomfortable. Sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what your heart already knows.

30) Lowers your high standards. Toxic relationships can cause us to slowly begin accepting what was once not acceptable.

31) Senses stagnant. Growth and learning are vital, and you can't afford to be cut off from them.

32) Cuts corners. Nothing is ever worth cutting corners, or accepting anything that is second rate.

33) Filled with criticism. A nonstop barrage of criticism never helped anyone improve; it's not about making things better but boosting the critic's ego.

34) Brings out the worst. If you are constantly being your worst, you cannot be your best self.

35) Cannot do anything right. If you cannot do anything right, maybe the relationship is all wrong.

Source: This Article from "Inc."

Sounds like Lost Dragon ought to reassess her friendship with this person.

I have talked about this multiple times

- Things are one-sided
- You can't be yourself around them
- They don't see to care about your feelings
- They are overly clingy with you
- Walk on eggshells around them
- They control you
- The relationship is an emotional rollercoaster
- You compete with their other friends
- They use you for things
- They aren't supportive
- You get mad at them all the time
- They constantly stab you in the back

some red flags that may happen before they start treating you badly:

- hating many people they used to be close to and a history of relationships that ended in huge arguments
- obsessing about past wrongs that were done to them but something seems off about the way they tell it, perhaps they're furiously describing a person with a lot of negative adjectives but stay very vague about what the person actually did or what the person did seems minor and doesn't justify the extent of the fury
- gossiping a lot about their other friends

- coming on too strong. They call you their 'best friend' and you hardly even know each other at that point
- having a completely wrong or idealized version of you and no matter how many times you try to correct them they insist that how they see you is how you are
- showering you with compliments that don't seem sincere

- asking you to keep things secret that shouldn't have to be secrets e.g. you must not tell anyone you were talking to them or they ask you to do a favor for them and you must not tell anyone about it
- trying to keep you away from certain other people without giving you any good reason why

- huge double standards about how they may behave and how other people may behave
- expressing opinions about friendships/relationships or about what they expect of other people that are clearly problematic

- you repeatedly watch them treat other people badly for no good reason

- They overreact
- You're at the bottom of their list
- They constantly make plans with you and then bail
- If they constantly expect you to call them back but don't offer
- They love bomb with kindness and seem pleasant until they don't get what they want. Then they turn nasty and start abusing you emotionally, physically.
- They don't take "No" for an answer.
- They treat you like a piece of trash
- They accuse you of things that are not true

-They fly off the handle at the simplest thing.
- They will delete you from social media and messaging apps and then re add you a few weeks of months later.
-You and they will be having a nice conversation and then out of nowhere you will be told "you know I'm fed up with you, bye."
Followed by the social media deletion.


Actually this just happened to me.

A friendship could be good one minute and bad the next minute

Good and bad is a spectrum not binary

Cost benefits analysis

Every situation is different