Is anyone else REALLY BAD at apologizing?

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This is particularly difficult in close relationships. When I'm confronted with something I've done wrong, I find myself stuck between two courses of action, neither of which seem to make things better.
If I just say, "I'm sorry" and leave it at that, it doesn't feel sufficient, or like I'm showing any real remorse or self-reflection.
But then if I attempt to explain why I made the mistake, and show that I'm trying to understand the other person, it comes off like I'm trying to argue or flip the situation in my favor, or trying to avoid giving a simple apology.
It's really frustrating because I just want to communicate that I'm sorry and want to do better. One thing I'm slowly coming to accept is that, when you find yourself in the wrong, you can't really make things right in the moment. The person you hurt needs time to cool off, and you need time to show a change in behavior. Maybe I just struggle to remember that sometimes?
Regardless, I desperately wish I knew how to handle confrontations without seemingly making things worse. And I'm curious if other people relate to this sort of thing.

It is very difficult knowing what to do. Often I don't apologize because I simply don't know how to judge the situation. I either make myself look stupid by apologizing or I put my foot in it and make things worse.

I am. I see them as a cop out to feeling real emotion. I avoid it and it has almost been removed from my vocabulary. I would rather try and express my emotions genuinely or if I am at fault do an action to make it up to the person.

When people tell me "I'm sorry" I don't like it. I know they don't mean ill but I will mention that I dislike it of them. If I ever do apologize I will make sure to say much more than the dreaded "I'm sorry"

You would have liked Fonzie

Depends on what I need to apologize for. For stepping on someone's toes? Easy. Apologizing for accidentally taking someone's seat while they were in the bathroom? No problem. Those are just small mistakes anyway, so it's not like anyone's ever been angry at me for those things.

The biggest problem comes when people want me to apologize when I feel like I've done nothing wrong and can't understand why the other person is upset, why I must apologize. I mean, if I say "I'm sorry" without meaning it then that means I'm lying, right? And if I ask why I should apologize, people refuse to explain.

A very common situation for me is that I say or do something on purpose, but I didn't mean to hurt anyone with it, so I apologize for the fact that the other person was hurt because of me, but not for what I said or did. Of course, usually I don't tell them that.

Sometimes I also tend to apologize just in case if I have even the slightest of feelings that someone might have been insulted.

I also have trouble with forgiving; I don't say I forgive someone unless I mean it, unless I'm ready to let whatever happened go. Needless to say that this got me in trouble at school, too.

I certainly am.

I'd only truly apologize if I understand the situation, or in complete expression of remorse and sympathy as appropriately expressed.
Otherwise, it'll always feel hollow, unnecessary, unreal, false...
Or flat out a pathetic excuse rooted and associated from a lot of disappointments and lack of understanding.


Then there's something as if like you're legally blind and yet you promise to the world that you won't stumble, or never bump into anything and act clumsy.
Then you're in a world where no one gives a damn if you're blind, more like you're clumsy and dumb and everyone judge you from it.
Then you keep saying 'sorry' over and over for it, 'promise not to do it again', and every little thing you couldn't simply learn from or control over. Yet it happens intentions be damned your unreliable body rules over 'you'.


Then this lack of discernment, lack of knowledge of when's...

So.. Sure.
I'm bad at it because it just doesn't console me -- might as well never did. In my own terms, for as long as I could recall, it's a very misused word abused by those with insidious intent.
Doing so would only make me guiltier, weaker, 'the loser' -- as opposed to something akin to mercy, humbleness and forgiveness.

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I am regardless of the context of the situation when an apology is needed.