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Making people mad by repeating myself?

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Nierly
Butterfly
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Joined: 1 Jun 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 16

13 Feb 2020, 6:34 am

For some reason, I don’t understand why people get mad at me? They always say it’s cause I repeat myself and stick on the same topic to much, but I barely notice myself doing it. It’s mentally impossible to stop doing it till recently. It seems like a form of comfort when things are unpredictable. Even if it’s something as silly as what time we’re going out or what time I’m meeting up with friends. I can’t calm down and my mind goes crazy till I hear the answer again.

Example would me
“What time are we leaving?”
“We’re leaving at 10:40”

10 minutes later

“What time are we leaving?”
“10:40..” and I can feel them getting annoyed :oops:

Does anyone else do this, and if so how do you cope?


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Mona Pereth
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Joined: 11 Sep 2018
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Posts: 8,208
Location: New York City (Queens)

14 Feb 2020, 12:24 am

Nierly wrote:
For some reason, I don’t understand why people get mad at me? They always say it’s cause I repeat myself and stick on the same topic to much, but I barely notice myself doing it. It’s mentally impossible to stop doing it till recently. It seems like a form of comfort when things are unpredictable. Even if it’s something as silly as what time we’re going out or what time I’m meeting up with friends. I can’t calm down and my mind goes crazy till I hear the answer again.

Example would me
“What time are we leaving?”
“We’re leaving at 10:40”

10 minutes later

“What time are we leaving?”
“10:40..” and I can feel them getting annoyed :oops:

Does anyone else do this, and if so how do you cope?

Perhaps instead of just asking again “What time are we leaving?” it might be better to say something like “Just to make sure I correctly remember what you said, we're leaving at 10:40, is that correct?”

The latter question might still annoy some people, but at least it shows that you were indeed listening the first time around, whereas simply asking the original question again makes it sound like you weren't listening the first time at all.


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irreversibility
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 11 Jul 2020
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 51
Location: Detroit

29 Jul 2020, 6:01 am

You said that you can now control repeating yourself. How did you accomplish that?

For the example you gave: See if you can find the thoughts that are behind the impulse. If its, "I'm afraid they changed the plans without telling me.", then work on trust issues. If its, "I'm lonely.", think of better ways to start conversations. If its, "I forgot the time.", write things down.

Best wishes! :)

IR