So I've pretty much not much in the way of friends,
except 2 people i have known for long time in excess of many years, like 10/20.
One who for whatever reason doesn't talk to me or return my calls and the other isn't as much as I'd like
so seeing as this seems the most likely place to ask..
Does anyone feel like they're constantly doing things just to fit in for the sake of others, to pease people rather than doing the things that make themselves happy? like I get a sense of people that unless I do something correct or to their expectations im simply put down and humiliated and become even more withdrawn as it seems everyone (not sure if it's an NT thing) but seems unlikely, more likely they're just as*holes but to re-enforce how crap I am have everyone seems to have only what they think is relevant and ignore my own way of looking at something in order to gain friendship or acceptance and literally yell, become abusive or more so - in my view - soul destroying about having to completely make me feel like the most belittled, hated, disgusting, ugly, unworthwhile person in existence. I truly have feelings and try express these to people who listen yet every person other than me seems to be wired for their own agenda. I know it likely came out completely making no sense but I didn't want to lose my train of thought. If anyone can make sense of it, great if not please probe and I will respond accordingly.
Thanks.