Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ]
23 Oct 2020, 4:57 pm
24 Oct 2020, 12:13 am
24 Oct 2020, 12:44 am
24 Oct 2020, 1:44 am
KT67 wrote:
I don't want to do this myself btw so I'm not asking for advice on how. I'm asking for explanation why...
When my mum and her sister and my cousins meet up, they just go into the living room or somewhere together and drink hot drinks and talk.
They don't talk about things that interest all of them. They talk about people they know.
Not even people they all know. Strangers to each of them. So mum will start something about someone at her work then my auntie someone at hers etc... Only one of them knows each person...
I've told mum not to do this with me unless it's on a dog walk so I'm doing something and I already know the person but not so well that my loyalties are torn ('torn loyalties' only applies to my stepdad - she is never rude about my granddad and I don't like my dad very much). And I don't like hearing nasty stuff. If she keeps me pleasantly informed of family friends from my childhood, that's ok.
I don't understand why this is interesting. Do all NTs find this interesting? All NT women? Is this just them? Is it as rude as I feel like it is? I can't tell the difference between this and gossip tbh...
When I socialise with someone, it's either talking about topics (which yes, sometimes happens to include people but things like football, politics, books, art etc) or we do an activity together like play a board game or make art together.
I don't get what someone would get out of gossiping over someone who isn't a celebrity and they don't know and will never meet.
When my mum and her sister and my cousins meet up, they just go into the living room or somewhere together and drink hot drinks and talk.
They don't talk about things that interest all of them. They talk about people they know.
Not even people they all know. Strangers to each of them. So mum will start something about someone at her work then my auntie someone at hers etc... Only one of them knows each person...
I've told mum not to do this with me unless it's on a dog walk so I'm doing something and I already know the person but not so well that my loyalties are torn ('torn loyalties' only applies to my stepdad - she is never rude about my granddad and I don't like my dad very much). And I don't like hearing nasty stuff. If she keeps me pleasantly informed of family friends from my childhood, that's ok.
I don't understand why this is interesting. Do all NTs find this interesting? All NT women? Is this just them? Is it as rude as I feel like it is? I can't tell the difference between this and gossip tbh...
When I socialise with someone, it's either talking about topics (which yes, sometimes happens to include people but things like football, politics, books, art etc) or we do an activity together like play a board game or make art together.
I don't get what someone would get out of gossiping over someone who isn't a celebrity and they don't know and will never meet.
Gossiping is simply part of human psychology.
It is what it is.
Call it an evolutionary quirk. <shrug>
Some of it would be reality validation.
Information gathering.
The enjoyment of discovering patterns.
Cathartic release.
What can you do?
24 Oct 2020, 1:47 am
starkid wrote:
It is a personality trait. Some people are just very interested in other people. And some people just enjoy listening to others talk even if they are not very interested in the people that are being discussed.
You might learn something if you ask them why they enjoy it.
You might learn something if you ask them why they enjoy it.
A type of bonding process.
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