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I have the urge to lecture someone at work about how to communicate. But I am too shy to.

Lately our company sends us to worksites a hundred miles away. This guy drives our carpool.

We meet at the wee hours of the AM when its dark at grocery store parking lot and get into his car, often moving gear to his car too.

But this guy who is willing to drive tends to talk in mumbles, and not look at you when he talks. One recent time he said to me "there is still a light on mumble mumble mumble", and we kinda make a smirk like it wasnt important.

But he kept repeating that phrase. So it couldnt tell whether it was important or not. AND KEPT repeating it. So I had the choice of either saying (a) can you f****n speak UP, and f****n speak CLEARLY, so I can f*****g hear what you're f****n saying?" , or I could politely try to figure out what he trying to say this friggin code he is talking in". Finnally I thought I figured it out. That the "light" was some kind of light that goes on in his smartphone that indicates someone is trying to call him. We were talking about "who is going to make it to this carpool", and he was staring at his cell phone when he was saying it. So maybe he meant that someone from the company was trying to call us... or something. Who knows? So I nodded to him sympathically, but still didnt know what to say back to him.

Finnally it transpired that he meant "there is a light on IN YOUR CAR". So just before we drove off I jumped out of his car, and frantically ran to my car to turn off the dome light.

Frankly it pissed me off. He almost costed me a battery in my car (because leaving it on in my car for the 12 hours before we got back could easily run down the battery), and have to get a jump start, just because he refused to talk to me the way a normal person talks.

In my head I keep rehearsing what to say to him. Like "dude...you tend to mumble and not look at folks when you talk, which fine, unless you have something important to tell them. If you have something important to convey in a work situation like this then ...look at the person, speak loud enough for the human ear to hear, and dont mumble. OH! And one more thing...speak in the active voice, not in the passive voice. Dont say 'there is still a light on in your car'. Say "YOU..Naturalplastic... forgot to turn off your dome light!'. Gets to the point, and communicates with velocity."

Not sure why I posted this. I am just thinking aloud. But coaching folks (advising them how to act) doesnt usually go well in my experience. So I dont know whether I should bring up the issue of his speaking style or not.

I try to let my steaming incredulity out and, this may not play well for a male, raise my voice and say something to the effect..."I left my dome light on. I LEFT MY DONE LIGHT ON AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS MUMBLE! I can't believe you didn't say something LOUDER. LOOK at me, man. TALK TO ME. If you want to mumble, mumble about the weather for g*d's sake. Not about something important."

Or, if it is someone I don't want to get piffed off at me, I might make it into a teasing tone with just enough cut underneath to let them know I mean it.

I'm not saying this is good advice, mind you. Or even that you were asking for advice. It is just what came to mind. Disregard if not to your taste.

He should have told you your light is on directly.

I suspect he’s a shy guy who doesn’t want to offend.

Be nice about it—but be direct.

It sounds like his heart is in the right place. After all he tried and warn you. He could have kept quiet.