Listening Skills

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Can anyone help me when it comes to Listening Skills?

I have real problems paying attention to anyone I'm not interested in , or anytime someone starts a conversation that I find uninteresting. I've never been in a situation were I've really had to as I've never been employed, But I know it could cause real problems for me, if it's not already but I've just not been aware of it.

I know with my father's side of the family, they have a tendency to constantly "Chit-chat" which I hate so much, I find it mind numbingly boring, and I only see them 3 weeks a year for a holiday, (I see my father year round, and it's not that he's not intelligent that he chit chat's constantly, he's confessed himself, he just doesn't like to think or have interesting (meaning in my mind just deep) conversations, they make his head hurt!) and when I come back I have to have a holiday from my father, because I'm so mental tired. As soon as they start talking I mentally check out. I've learnt enough to make affirmative noises at the right time, but I can tell I still give off an air of disinterest. And am often percieved as if I think I'm better than them.

I just doesn't know how to appear interested, or how to keep listening when quite frankly I find such talk irrational illogical, and serving no real purpose most of the time.

Can anyone help?

The problem I have is, that in a work situation it may not always be acceptable, or visable for that matter to get on with what I'm doing and not listen if I don't find it interesting. While I would love to get a job that I find interesting the fact is that there may come a time were I have to take a job I'm not interested in to be secure financially until I can find and/or get a job that does stimulate me intellectually.

I don't think there's anything that will interest you in those conversations. But you might survive them if you develop certain acting skills. My sister has it down pat, she seems to be listening attentively but she's really daydreaming. She can do eye-contact, she keeps a half-smile on her face, nods slowly occasionally, and sometimes says things like "Really" or "I didn't know that."

For me, I can't help hearing them when they talk so I either fake it (Academy Award time) or find something that can interest me for a few minutes anyway.

Good luck.

With social chit chat that you find uninteresting you have no real motivation to stay there, and be attentive, but I think if your job, and financial future were at stake you might be able to muster up enough attentiveness to at least appear that you're interested, and engaged.
I get very bored listening to other people chit chat back, and forth. One of the things I do to pass the time is just observe the way that they interact, and from what I've noticed most people don't really listen to what the other person is saying, because they're too busy thinking of what they're going to say next.

Thanks for the advice.

I supposse your right, if my livelihood depended on it I probably could muster up another interest to listen to anyone that was talking about something work related. It's just the social aspect that worrys me, work mates chit chating, and expecting something in return i fear that if I was to act it, it would come across fake, Which could make the work place an uncomfortable enviroment for me.

I've had no real interaction with anyone except my family for going on 6 years now, anyone else and I don't really care how I come across since their just people I buy stuff from, or similar. So I'm kinda out of practice.

And I'm worried that If I attempt it with some stranger or someone, that they'll see it as an gesture of friendship, which for the farseeable future I'm not lookinf fo rany friends that aren't online.

It's just a pity all relationships can't be like the one I have with my mum. We live together and it's really a case of two people occupieing the same space. For months on end we can remain in our own worlds just speaking when we have to "do you want a cup of tea, need anything from sainsbury, want me to pay the rent while I'm up town, etc" and it's not cause we don't get along, every now and again, maybe 5 times a year at most, we'll sit down to gether and talk non stop for about 6 hours into the early hours of the morning. it's just we don't see the need to talk if we haven't anything to say.

Why can't other people be like that, instead of thinking your ignoring them or in am ood if you don't talk to them?

As you say, you are out of practice socializing since most of your interaction has been with family for years. I can relate to the difficulty with small talk. I walk a fine line. First, people come to understand that I don't talk much and when I do, it's about work. They can tell I have a very dry sense of humor and don't respond to the 'what did you do this past weekend' chit-chat and so forth. They leave me alone and out of the small talk, but without resentment. That said, I make it a point to give my full attention to every person for at least a few minutes. Everyone deserves that basis respect, in my view. I meet them halfway and they meet me halfway. I'm still strange to them but not threatening. It works. Usually. Put me in a highly verbal, loud, competitive group of demanding people and I can't handle it. I stay out of those situations. Good luck to you. It gets better with practice.

Thank you.

I suppose it's just going to have to be a wait and see, try and learn from my mistakes sort of situation-which I hate, I'd much rather plan and prepare!

I'm not diagnosed, so I can't just come right out and say "I have a AS, so forgive me if I'm not social" and If I say I'm not social, they'll most likely assume I'm rude and/or think I'm above them.

But maybe I'm imagining hurdles when there aren't any to delay me from going out into the workfield, I could take to it like....well not like a duck takes to water, because that's never happened, but it might not be as bad as I think it will be.

Though just to be on the safe side I might when I start looking, I may ask the jobfinding people if there is any job I can take where I don't have to interact with anyone...that would be heaven!!