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I've become friends with almost all of my friends via friends I already had, usually via school or work.
I've lived here for about 10 years and have no local friends at all.
It usually don't bother me, since I'm kind of a lone wolf. But sometimes it can be nice to talk with others.

Recently I ran into a situation with a colleague. She started actively ignoring and avoiding me (bullying me, really).
So I tried to talk with her about it, and why, what I had done wrong towards her etc and it all ended up in a mail with cc to my boss and hers basically saying "I want no contact with you, whatsoever".
Then another colleauge started avoiding me.
This whole thing is so confusing to me, because something like that has never happenend to me before.
I should add that I had really good contact with them previously, and I had talked with them about my (then suspected, now confirmed) autism.

I think one reason for this happening is that as I've become aware of my autism I've begun opening it up, if that makes sense. Not masking as much.

/Mats

So I really thought those two were friends material, if you like.
There are two more colleagues that I think I could be friends with, but I'm a bit scared of engaging too much with them now.

/Mats

I can't see any reasonable excuse for their behaviour. You do say you did nothing wrong.

How did you try and be friends with them? What did you talk to them about? When did you see their demeanour towards you change?

I didn't really try to become friends with them. I don't think that's how it works.
It's like love, it either happens or don't, you cannot push it.

What I did was try to be nice and kind and make jokes, being a bit goofy. The usual stuff how you make friends and meet partners. At least that's how I've always done that kind of jazz.

ETA: When? About three months ago.
With one we talked mainly work, a bit of our quirks and odd behaviour.
The other also work, but also a common interest which is comics.

/Mats

Something similar happened to my autistic friend at his workplace with a colleague. She misinterpreted him spending time with her as trying to hit on her and just wouldn't believe him.
He is still very hurt 20+ years later by that event.
He didn't know he was on the spectrum at the time.

_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. x

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.

Do you talk about women a lot? That tends to freak us out. Do you have certain creepy interests as dead bodies or weird things you talk about without showing awareness it's a very odd part of you? Those are best kept secret.

Do you focus on solely women at the workplace?

Do you ask for reassurance a lot?

What do you think was talked about in both cases before that happens that could have upset them?

It's your very first time to unmask so I suppose some of what you used to mask must be the culprit. Maybe you need to translate it in a socially acceptable way.

_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. x

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.

Yes I'm fairly easy going.
I'm not sure if the assesments are done the same everywhere, but here there is an about two hours long intelligence test as part of it. Despite scoring below average on working memory and couple of other parts I scored well above average in total, so I can probably say with some kind of certanty that I am not stupid.
And back when I lived in Stockhom I had a ton of friends, so I'm not completely socially incompetent.
I "only" have level 1 of autism, or as some say aspergers or high functioning autism, and have never had problems getting a job etc.
Soon 53 years old and never had this kind of experience before.

To Rexi:
I have some suspicions that the first one thinks I was hitting on her.
I don't fully understand what you mean, I don't usually talk about people regardless of sex.
I like horror movies and cartoons, but not IRL stuff. A little bit of interest in serial killers, but nothing I talk about unless I know it's ok. In general I cannot stand stories of hurt children or things like that, unless it's fiction.
I tend to get along better with women than men, but I've always got along with all sexes.
Reassurance? Yes, I may have a tendency for that, or I have some kind of deep wish to be liked or understood. Possibly because of all the bullying at school.
What happened? Well nothing really. If I should guess it was as said that she thought I was interested in her and that I had been joking with her in ways that she disliked and been doing it for so long that she snapped.
The second colleauge, my guess is that they just talked to each other, I don't think I did her any harm.
My unmasking has been quite suttle so far, I tend to do more stimming and talk a bit more of my interests.

Thanks for the support, and sorry for what may seem like bragging. I by no means mean that I'm better than anybody else.
And sorry for overexplaining, if I have done that, I tend to do that a lot, to prevent misunderstandings.

/Mats

Just as a thought , if you started unmasking around people. And you are of the opposite gender , you might inadvertently cause some degree of fear .

I think my unmasking is so slight yet that it barely is recognized.
It is actually something I think about a lot, because I've done it so long so I'm not really sure about who I'm really like...
For now, it's mostly sensory things, doing things with my hands, touching my hair and ears, a bit of rocking my body but really nothing you won't se NTs do from time to time.
At least that's what I think

/Mats

By the way, isn't the quote "Wherever you go, that's where you are"?
And who was it? Bansai or something?

ETA: Seems I was wrong, but some sources attributes it to Buckaroo Banzai, so not completely.

/Mats