Do you ever have trouble convincing Friends your an Aspie?

Post Reply New Topic

I have had friends and co-workers flat out tell me to my face that either I was lying or my Dr. was so horribly inept as to have no idea what Aspergers was. Keep in mind these are people with out Aspergers themselves. It tears me up and makes me angry all at the same time. It feels liek I spent all this time and effort learning how to pass and how to play act, and while I still don't do it well enough to keep from screwing up and getting labled a weirdo, I do just well enough that many people won't accept how much work I have to put into it. Sometimes I wonder if things wouldn't be easier if I had much stronger case or if I hadn't put the effort into interaction mimicry I have. Then maybe people would just be able to see why I'm diffrent quit expecting me to know what they expect from me.

I think it would be easier for you if you didn't admit to having Aspergers.

Its mostly come up with friends, who I don't feel like hiding myself from . Sometimes I don't have an interaction template to work from, and I get the interaction wrong or I simply can't figure it out at all. I wanted them to know why 1. I acted in the way they thought was thouhgtless, rude, wierd, or 2. Why what they were telling me about the interaction wasn't computing.

I've had something similar happen before. I get a lot of "Really?"s and such. Never been told I was lying though. Most people realize how terribly honest I am after they know me for a little while, and I never inform anyone of my AS until I've known them for a bit and something comes up and I have to explain myself. Or I suppose I tell teachers and stuff, but that's because they have to know in order to help me.

A lot of people don't know much about AS or if they do they only know one person and if you're not like the first person they met with it then you obviously can't have it. If they give you trouble you can always explain it to them. I've explained the disorder to some of my friends before and it took awhile before what I was explaining to them finally clicked, but now most of them get it. It really is all about open-mindedness and education. If they're not open to either than why associate with them?

If somone was surprised when I told them I would be flattered, atleast they didn't suspect. I tend not to tell people anyway

Most people just don't have any clue what Asperger's is. It's not even something they cover in psych classes. And you can't explain that it's a form of autism, because most people think that autism is synonymous with mental retardation. It probably just doesn't make sense to them because they have no idea what it is.

I mentioned to someone I knew from high school that I was fairly sure that I had it. He disagreed at first, and when I gave him some info on it first he focused on the stuff about developmental delays and missed the bit about the diagnostic criteria for AS specifically excluding significant delays. Once he got a better idea of what it was, he thought it did describe me pretty well.
But that was in a conversation online, so I didn't have to explain to him what it was, just point him to some articles that did the explaining for me.

I'm going for an assessment for an ASD in two weeks at a private clinic. If I get a diagnosis (highly likely) the only person I would ever intend to tell is any future wife/partner (if I'm lucky enough). As that is the only person that will need to know.

If your a high functioning adult with an ASD I don't think there is any advantage in telling anyone. Any credit for coping will be unlikely and they will probably think you are attention seeking.

I tried telling two of my friends and they both just said "It's not possible". One of them actually knew a lot about autism but mostly about savants. I have never been diagnosed so it's possible that I don't have AS (I am convinced that I do). I think I will just never tell anyone about it again.

I don't tell anyone I have it but when I had in the past, I have never gotten "No you're not." Kids wanted to know what it was or didn't say anything.

You can pronounce it like "Aus bergers." Sounds more exotic and that's actually the original pronunciation. Heh.

Sometimes people with AS don't recognize that I'm also AS because we're all wrapped up in our own little worlds. There may be such a thing as AS-dar though. Like gaydar. Or not?