So just for fun I took the CAT-Q test, and I'm disgusted

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So just for fun I took the CAT-Q test, and I'm disgusted.

I got an overall score of 144. A compensation score of 54. A masking score of 41. And an assimilation score of 49. All of which means I mask like crazy all the time, and I can only think "no wonder I'm exhausted all the time!"

I used to wonder sometimes why I felt "different" around other people than I do when I know I'm able to just be myself. And now I know.

It also makes me mad because I apparently do a heck of a lot to be "ok" for other people, but when I don't have it in me to "mask" for them, they want me to "shape up", or "buck up", or pay more attention to them.

Kinda torques me off.

I took the CAT-Q just now and got the following:

CAT-Q total: 79
Compensation: 28
Masking: 25
Assimilation: 26

I've never been much of a masker.

CAT-Q: 52
Compensation: 16
Masking: 9
Assimilation: 27

It's an interesting observation that once you know you're capable of masking, doing less of it can lead to improvement in your relationships with others.
A very useful thing with was giving up trying to look like a woman my age is supposed to look and adopting overtly nerdy style. It makes strangers acting less offended when I make some random faux pas.
Explaining my sensory issues to others ("I'm sorry, I hear everything louder than people normally do and the noise here is painful for me. Can we go elsewhere?") instead of trying to conceal and not feel also helps.
It is still useful to mask e.g. at airport checks and other places where blending in makes life easier but among the people who are supposed to know me, giving them some awarness of who I really am and what I really need makes life easier long-term.

CAT-Q:137
Compensation:38
Masking:50
Assimilation:49

I took the Cat-q test today.
Compensation 108
Masking 27
Assimilation 50
Total 185

Compensation is 108 because I fear interacting with people. I have climbed over a fence just to avoid interacting with someone (they were nice people). It feels like I would jump out of window if I had to. Nothing good results with me interacting with others.
I don't have to mask that much because I avoid interactions whenever I can. I did very well during the pandemic lockdown.

CAT-Q: 99
Compensation: 31
Masking: 40
Assimilation: 28

I focus on having normal mannerisms but not on being normal overall, more on being a socially acceptable version of myself.

My score from last year:
My total was 137, compensation was 47, masking was 47, and assimilation was 43.

I try to mask a lot, or at least used to.

Total: 127
Compensation: 30
Masking: 47
Assimilation: 50

Several questions were partly true for me, for example I am very aware of my body and closely monitor my expressions and such, but I don’t try to look relaxed, just not particularly standing out in any way. I can’t make myself appear relaxed, but I try to at least not appear unsociable. I do not attempt to appear “normal” because I have learned very well that I can’t ever pull that off, but I also hide the “real me.” I don’t so much “mask” as “hide,” I don’t really have anything to try to put up instead. I don’t pretend to have traits I don’t (such as being relaxed or at ease in social situations) but at the same time I try not to display traits I do have (things that others would judge me harshly for). Can’t fit in, so I settle for simply not standing out. I don’t mimic or script, but I learn from trial and error what not to do and apply that. The majority of it is primarily subconscious, too, I don’t really know how not to be essentially invisible anymore. Probably factoring into my lack of trying to be anything but invisible is that I already have people constantly overestimating me and minimizing my difficulties and don’t need to be making them do that even more.

I also mostly “cope” by avoiding socialization altogether. Nothing really changed for me with the pandemic except that everyone else started staying in too.

I don't see any evidence that CAT-Q corrects for response traits such as "social desirability" or agreement bias (tending to agree on everything). In fact, since the subject matter of the test is how much you try to be socially desirable (conventional), this is a serious confound in the test.

In other words - don't make too much of this instrument.

Total: 150.0
Compensation: 59.0
Masking: 40.0
Assimilation: 51.0

looking at that, it looked like a nt-test
to me
im weird

it even stated that nt women mask the least, now you know that's bonkers & the wrong end of the stick,
really

lets all pretend to be very guillible
maybe then we can be "officially autistic"

but the money is good
or

Was bored.

Total - 72.0
Compensation - 27.0
Masking - 18.0
Assimilation - 27.0


I don't do body language monitoring, rehearsals, scripting or whatnot.

When I socialize, I do it as I go with references at the back of my head; as few as relevant as possible and when I feel like it.



Many of my first to notice things are internal; feelings, sensations, thoughts, compulsions and urges, touch, taste, movement, space and gravity...

One who prioritizes masking usually notices the external and manage the external first and foremost for the sake of passing, contrary to the internal.

I don't. I spent most of my life trying to manage the internal and neglect the external.

The external part is easier for me for purely kinesthetic reasons.
This is basically luck in my case; I'm not one of the clumsy types, the highly alexithymic types, or the NVLD types who would struggle in this area.

The internal part I struggle more and these internal signals are harder to ignore than whatever outside source being stirred from.


So... If I get to be capable of blending in and able to truly socialize, I don't need acting skills.
I need emotional and sensory regulation instead.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

CAT-Q Total: 77 (---much less than everyone)
Compensation: 19 (---much less than everyone)
Masking: 19 (---much less than everyone)
Assimilation: 39 (~avg of autistic men)

Hmm, I'm not sure what to make of this--other than I knew I've never been much at intentionally imitating or even observing people.

I rarely observe people or even look at them, and I've finally begun to realize it's because of either an inability and/or anxiety block about not being able to think or talk if I try to concentrate on someone, their non-verbal communications and/or imagining their thoughts.

I can speak and socialize fairly well--IF it's either about an interesting topic OR IF the rules and/or topic of the socializing are clear to me (e.g. cub scouts, parents' @ sporting events for young kids, job interviews, volunteer activity w/ other new volunteers).

(Thanks, Soliloquist, for the summary descriptions.)

Well, I'm bored so...

CAT-Q:83 (lower than both groups)
Compensation:28 (in between male and female NT average scores)
Masking:36 (average male NT score)
Assimilation:19 (lower than both groups)