embarrassment

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my friend thinks I'm an embarrassment because I said he is sensitive to my other friends and I introduced him to my parents but I didn't know, he's acting like my parents, for example when I do something wrong, and my parents get mad at me, I say "I didn't know", parents reply "You know now."

Also on my other friend, she make have guess what she like, but I cannot think, I got upset and. She got embarrassed.

there both NT'S.

I feel so ashamed

this is why aspies of both genders don't tend to get along as well with girls.

Two thoughts:

Always remember that "different" isn't the same as "less than"

and

Try to get social things spelled out as much as possible. Most of us have a lot of trouble figuring out what questions to ask; ask a lot of questions in advance, and perhaps even catalogue the answers.

Another thing; certain sorts of social gestures lend themselves better to thinking and planning ahead, and you can use them, in some measure to mitigate the problems caused by the more immediate things you have a harder time with. I do this all the time; if I can see that a friend is having a bad day, I'll bring them their favorite candy bar and say, "I have no idea how to cheer you up, but here's this!" It doesn't erase the aquardness, but it does provide a way to consistently show that you care. Occasions that make sense for this sort of thing include but are not limited to: anytime a friend is doing something particularly stressful, like moving; anytime a friend performs; anytime a friend dumps or breaks up with a significant other; and anytime a friend just seems grumpy, for whatever reason. You may want to check this last one with other friends if you have a hard time reading it, as it's not a good one to misdiagnose.

Good luck.

what does this mean?

aspies of both genders ( male and female, one would assume) don't get along as well with girls. NT girls?, AS girls? any girl at all?

Merle

I'm more comfortable being myself around girls than I am around guys.

Please don't feel ashamed! I think their embarrassment stems from confusion - these conversations have not progressed in the way they were expecting and now they are confused and possibly a little anxious. Explain what you meant by "sensitive" - it's a big compliment, I think, if you're saying that he's thoughtful and observant and in touch with his feelings. And your female friend is probably most embarrassed because she's upset you and doesn't really understand why - the whole thing has spiralled away from her in an unexpected manner and she's not sure what to do to put it right. But this does mean that she cares and wants to help, I believe. Maybe write them each a note or e-mail if you can't explain face to face?

Ya, keep at it, get lots of social practice ive had practice my whole life and i always seem to improve with age, its good to get out their like u r, and im very gealous of u cause u have a girl-friend

Oddly enough, I am too. Trying not to buy into that whole "alpha male" thing is far healthier for me.

I'm a girl, thants why I called Timelady, if I was a boy, I would Timelord and I'm not a lesbian.

Me too.

I'm not sure this is true, generally speaking. What makes you say this?


Far be it for me to over-literalize, but could woodsman25 have meant... A friend who is female? My wife has "girl-friends", and I'm pretty sure she's not a lesbian... Pretty sure?

Hrm. This is one of those interesting language-gender inequalities; girls can have girl friends, this not necessarily leading to any particular implications. But if I started calling my male friends my boy friends; ack, no. Proof positive that girls get all the breaks. Language is a wonderous plaything.

Good fortune,

- Icarus

Don't feel ashamed ! !! What doesn't kill ya makes you stronger! Keep experiencing social situations, and most importantly, don't be afraid to defend yourself!