sarcasm

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is using sarcasm against someone who doesnt understand sarcasm a little abusive?

If you are referring to text:
Not if we include "<sarcasm>", "<irony>","<satire>" or the like.

That's fair

It is actually enshrined in law of WP.

Naaaaaah

IMHO, if something is being done against somebody, they've probably lost the moral high ground.

If we're being less literal, using sarcasm with somebody that doesn't get it might not be a problem. Just try not to do it if you know they're the sort not to pick up on that easily. It's kind of a jerk move.

Random customers do that to me all the time and I just shrug when I become aware of it and note that I haven't had the right amount of coffee to work out what they've said. It's my go-to when just smiling and nodding isn't enough.