Has any1 ever told you 2 "stay out of it"?

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah its sometimes 2 stay out of people's conversations, just like my (senior) aspie friend. Has any 1 else been told this?

yeah to stay out of peoples conversations, and also to stay out of their business... I can be a bit of a snoop...

Yeah, me too. Apparently my tendency to give voice to something I want to say, without realising the consequences of doing so, can get the better of me far more than it should.

I've always been told to stay out of everything; that nothing was ever any of my business, even when I felt like I had a genuine stake in some matter.

The hell of it is: everyone has always felt perfectly free to infiltrate in my business.

This touches something I've been thinking a lot of - the question of integrity. For most people, "integrity" seems to be something almost holy - but I don't understand what it means! (And even if people want to have their own integrity, that doesn't mean they act the same way to others, which I found not very logical.)

Sometimes I feel this whole integrity thing is just some irritating behaviour for coping with the fear of getting too close to others. But what do II know (ok, night here, I'm going to bed and maybe wake up ith something more intelligent to say )

Two members at my clubhouse got into a physical fight, five years ago. I was trying to break the fight that was between a man and a woman. The man told me to stay out of it.

Yes..

I've been told several things when trying to join a conversation. It's made me lose confidence in trying around certain people.

I have gotten angry looks before on some of the rare ocaisions I have actualy tried to stick my neck out socialy and join in on a convo that I thought I could add something to. Growing up with an older brother with anger management issues has made me a scholor on the "angry look" - did you know there are many types? . There have been other comments or otherwise snideness but never specifically "stay out of it". Sometimes people will let a complete stranger butt in and other times they don't like it. I still haven't figured this one out.

Another somewhat related thing that gets me is when someone will ask my oppinion about something, but not like my oppinion and then get mad. Are they asking me to basicaly tell them what they want to hear? I have this one figured out though. "I have no oppinion" or "I don't want to get involved" or "Well what do YOU think he meant by that".

All the time when I hung around "normies". It was always "nothing!" "don't worry about it." "It's personal" "It doesn't concern you" and the one that pissed me off the most "Sorry, but you're not mature enough to handle it!"

Then i started hanging around with druggies, and everyone shared everything.

Yes to get out of other peoples business and to go away.

Well, i've been not told that straight, but there has been many situations where I see, that my presence or opinion is unwanted. Most of the time I realize that i've said something wrong a long time after saying it.

You're right. The same happens to me, and these are my thoughts:

First, I'm in the middle of a group having a conversation, and someone tells me to join.
Then, in a similar situation, I spontaneously join and some SoaB tells me to stay out.

WTF? MAKE UP YOUR MIND YOU NEURO-CYNICALS!! ! And then they say we're the freaks. Or the criteria is to always ask?

*Sir! Permission to talk sir!*

Anyway, with me the "stay out" is the Death Kiss and I never talk him/her anymore.

Have you experienced this. You make a statement of some sort, answer a question - you just say something. Then suddenly you're taken for some sort of smart-ass.

Yeah that happens when I tell my mom 2 stay out of it and i tell her 2 stay out of my anger.

While growing up with my 'friends' as we got older they would have others over, and id feel like an outsider cause they would all be gathered in conversation and when I tryed to join in id eather get a bunch of stupid looks or someone would say "dont worry about it" refering to what they were talking about, as i tryed to get involved.

I find, often, when someone wants your opinion and you join in the conversation circle, its best to give them a false opinion, its best to say the kind of stuff nessissary to fit in, generally, you gotta reach the same conclusion as NT's

Now, i have all NT friends (tho id love to meet someone like me in person) I have met some good, and many bad NT's (peer group). Because we may be more logical, more apt to say whats on our mind, more deductive, maby more perceptive to some things, NT's (in my peer group anyways) did not like this, caused me to stick out like a sour thumb, instead of praising me for being smart (for example, i was the only one who could figure out how to find the correct wheel berring for our go cart) they ridiculed me for being a nerd and saying 'the wrong things'

Its a tough balance, over the years I got better, its good to be an individual, yourself, but also, if you wanna belong you gotta be at their level (often we must dumb down just a notch) we dont always have to be the smartest in the group (because we know we already typically are)

More than being told to stay out of it I just wasn't included. And I found whenever a circle of people were gathered, if I came into the circle, very subtly it would start to reshape so that I was on the outside, with backs to me.