I seem to feel as though its my fault that I have few friends and that if I did I wouldn't be feeling this way if I had friends I went out with on occasions. It makes it seem like I've wasted my life by having few friends because I wasn't going out every weekend to bars, pubs, clubs, or wanting to go back into volunteering. To be honest I seem to feel as though life for people in their 30s isn't exciting anymore because I see them now with kids or have got married and it feels like all of them are when I know they are probably not and that they have all moved on and I still feel like I haven't and feel the same as I was 10 or 15 years ago. I feel more social now than I was back then and feel bad that I wasn't as social back then as I am right now. Despite that, I still don't find myself going out out to the usual places that go out to and expect to meet new people.
I know I shouldn't but I even seem to feel as though I want to ''blame'' other people in my class at college, uni etc for just leaving me alone because I would nearly always be on my own during break times and for not walking up and interacting with me as though they knew I was ''different'' or I was ''odd'' or ''weird''. Again I know they are not to blame for my circumstances but I don't know why I feel that way.
06 Jul 2023, 8:59 am
