Personality seems subjective and largely relative

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I've seen a common talking point here and other places like Reddit, that people who can't make friends or get dates have terrible personalities. This is a fallacy and is associated with two major errors:

1) Personality is mostly subjective. Aside from general honesty and politeness, there's no such thing as a good or bad personality. One person's view of a good or cool personality is different than someone else's view.

2) Those who make that claim usually have some flaws of their own.

For example, if someone frequently cusses with F or S bombs and is binge drinker, they have an unattractive personality in my view. I don't care if they like to express themselves that way. I'm not comfortable around these types. Furthermore, if they claim I'm a social reject due to any personality flaws (objective or subjective), I can't take them seriously since that judgment is coming from someone with bad morals (in my view). Alcohol is responsible for the deaths of many thousands of people each year. I will never rely on this DRUG for socializing.

I remember reading a dating thread where a user 'Fnord' told a guy who was struggling in dating, "If you're that sensitive to criticism, no wonder you're a virgin". Yet maybe that same user is oblivious to the fact that they are sensitive in different ways, OR they have low empathy because the 'virgin guy' was bullied in school and is high inhibition as a result of the treatment they got. Asperger's is not associated with negative personality traits or anxiety, but since we're a frequent target of bullying and isolation, this indirectly causes a 'chain reaction' later in life that leads to further anxiety, depression, isolation, etc.

Let's be sympathetic and get to know people as individuals and accept their plans for self-improvement if they want to escape whatever rut they're in.

I have long held that assumption; birth is so random; we have no control over our sex, the environment we are born into, or personality type we are born with. For some reason this made me think of a song by Bruce Springsteen; Born In the USA The lyrics it made me think of was: Born down in a dead man's town, the first kick I took was when I hit the ground. End up like a dog that's been beat too much, til you spend half your life just to cover it up.( I feel pretty certain that the person referred to in this fictitious lyric would have fared better if they were born in a nurturing environment) We are all different but we are all the same. In my estimation, for someone to take credit for something they had no control over shows a lack of awareness.