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Are they harassing me? Your opinions.

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Jamesy
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16 May 2024, 2:38 pm

Back in January at the pub I made friends with this couple (he’s 26 and she is 21). I meet with them twice or once a week at the pub but in the last few months they have regurley texting me in the daytime and there always harassing me by text on Friday nights about going out (even though I would rather just go out to pub once a week on saturdays)

Can I have your opinion on their behaviour? Do you think they’re bullying me because I am a vulnerable adult.

Sometimes they send me vulgar text messages.



DuckHairback
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16 May 2024, 2:53 pm

I would only call it bullying if they know this upsets you.

In the best possible world they just like you, consider you a friend and want to see you at the pub and don't know that you don't appreciate the vulgar texts. Some people are a lot more comfortable with vulgarity than others and don't know, or don't care, that it makes some people uncomfortable.

In a worse world you're some sort of entertainment for them and they're getting a weird kick out of pestering you and sending you vulgar stuff because they know you don't like it.

As usual we really don't have enough information to go on, Jamesy. It's like you give us 2 pieces of a 10 piece jigsaw puzzle and ask us to tell you what the picture is.


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Jamesy
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16 May 2024, 3:03 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
I would only call it bullying if they know this upsets you.

In the best possible world they just like you, consider you a friend and want to see you at the pub and don't know that you don't appreciate the vulgar texts. Some people are a lot more comfortable with vulgarity than others and don't know, or don't care, that it makes some people uncomfortable.

In a worse world you're some sort of entertainment for them and they're getting a weird kick out of pestering you and sending you vulgar stuff because they know you don't like it.

As usual we really don't have enough information to go on, Jamesy. It's like you give us 2 pieces of a 10 piece jigsaw puzzle and ask us to tell you what the picture is.




They were doing weed around a friends house and they spend some of the evening laughing at me with their friend. I do stand out I guess


What more info would you like me to give you?



babybird
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16 May 2024, 3:20 pm

Sounds like you're a figure of fun for
them

FOF


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Jamesy
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16 May 2024, 3:24 pm

Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction



babybird
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16 May 2024, 3:30 pm

Maybe


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Cornflake
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17 May 2024, 10:41 am

Jamesy wrote:
Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction
Well at least they won't be able to bully you via WhatsApp, right? :chin:


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Nades
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17 May 2024, 11:10 am

What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



Jamesy
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18 May 2024, 5:09 am

Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to



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18 May 2024, 7:32 am

^ Block them - you don't have to read their nonsense.

For mobiles (or at least, Android) you can block phone numbers as the source of a call or a text message; as far as the sender is concerned their call is unanswered/their text was sent.


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JamesW
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18 May 2024, 2:10 pm

Jamesy wrote:
They were doing weed around a friends house and they spend some of the evening laughing at me with their friend. I do stand out I guess


In my experience, when people are doing weed, they spend their time laughing at everyone and everything.



bee33
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19 May 2024, 5:29 am

Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to

That's a nice and friendly thing to do, unless they're doing it in some mean or jerky way.



Jamesy
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20 May 2024, 11:00 am

bee33 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to

That's a nice and friendly thing to do, unless they're doing it in some mean or jerky way.




I know it's friendly but I want to cut down my drinking by spending a bit less time going to pubs



Jamesy
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20 May 2024, 11:03 am

Cornflake wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction
Well at least they won't be able to bully you via WhatsApp, right? :chin:



Yeah but then I will have to deal with them when I bump into then at my local pub



DuckHairback
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20 May 2024, 11:14 am

Jamesy wrote:
bee33 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to

That's a nice and friendly thing to do, unless they're doing it in some mean or jerky way.




I know it's friendly but I want to cut down my drinking by spending a bit less time going to pubs


Have you told them that? If they're really friends they'll respect it.


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Cornflake
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20 May 2024, 11:17 am

Jamesy wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction
Well at least they won't be able to bully you via WhatsApp, right? :chin:
Yeah but then I will have to deal with them when I bump into then at my local pub
But as you're wanting to spend less time at the pub that's likely to be less of a problem, no?


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