Have you ever gotten aggressive during a meltdown?

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NibiruMul
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09 Dec 2023, 7:11 pm

I've had many meltdowns over the years, some of them worse than others. I've gotten aggressive numerous times during meltdowns. When I had meltdowns at home, I often got into physical fights with my father. (Me and Dad had a strained relationship for a long time, although in recent years it's improved quite a bit.) It's also occasionally happened with other people. I remember when I was in 10th grade I had a meltdown where I kicked a (male) teacher on the thigh (I was aiming to kick him in the nuts). This incident resulted in me being expelled from school and sent to an alternative school.



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09 Dec 2023, 8:46 pm

I found an article that does not exactly fit what I have experienced in the past though in my earliest years it did.

I think you may experience something along the lines that I have slightly later in life where the output to the meltdown can be slightly controlled (Unlike in this article I will show) but it was not a temper tantrum either. For me, meltdowns are rare. I did however get them often until I was around six, where I was told I could have killed another child, and from then on they turned into very physically noticable shutdowns, where in the past up until that age, I didn't get shutdowns.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... nd-tantrum

Now in adulthood, meltdowns for me were rare. Once every few years or so... And they happened after days of pressure building up. Due to having red behinds, I never really did havemuch of a temper as my Dad kinda beat it out of me, and I am greatful for that, but instead I would get mopey moods. My Dad, however either had tempers or meltdowns. To be honest, the way he had them he had an element of control in that he did not physically lash out while in one, but they lasted the whole day and no ond could pull him out of them, not even himself. He would go to bed and stay there until the next morning, though sometimes he would recover by early evening and then watch TV and relax to recover until he went to bed again. For him they would be the sort of triggers that would take me into a shutdown. A sudden unexpected decision change he could not cope with.
For me, as an adult, the few times I have had a meltdown I have had a very stressful day thathas built up and up and by evening time comes my mind recalls things and I have to put them right and I have known myself cyxling my bicycle at motorcycle speeds up a 1 in 4 climb (25%) and there was no way I could normally go up that hill and cycle home at those speeds on the bike, even though I was at one time a cyclist who could take on professionals at events (Though I never rode professionally and kept to offroad racing as it was safer). What I am saying is that in those days where I could take on nearly any cyclist as I was at that level, this was something else again! This was superhuman level! If I could time when this would take place I would easily be able to smash world records! Now that was just in the build up to a full on meltdown as when it got close to its peak, I would be in my bedroom, hold my pillow over my head and be scared to move as I knew if I directed any force into any direction I would not be able to stop, so I just held myself down and it really felt like my brain was swelling inside my head and was about to explode! And the pressure built up and up and got soo much that I really didn't know how I would survive anymore without my head bursting open! And when I thought it was about to burst open as there was no way out but for it to burst it suddenly ended! I was in sudden peace and calm but so exhausted I would immediately curl myself up and fall into a peaceful sleep!! ! It was as if it hadn't happened! I would sleep in total peace, and wake up the next day as if nothing had happened!

Now that is not the sort of experience it was said in the link. It is definately not a temper. But what they describe as a meltdown it does not add up to exactly like that either. As in the hour before it peaked I cycled down the hill with a note to put something right that was on my mind and cycled the three miles back which normally took me 25-30 minutes due to the hillclimb involved and I did it so fast that my parents didn't know I had gone and I can't have been out the house for more than 20 minutes if that. The time I did it in on the bicycle was the same average time I would do it in the car. On a bicycle I had the strength and energy to zip up that hill as quick as my car could and I am talking about a decent car! (Though due to type of road which was narrow and had many blind corners, even though I had a fast car, the times were of speeds of 30-40mph even for the Volvo T5 which went down to 5.7 mpg on the steepest bit of the climb!)

But while all I could do was hold myself down under my pillow when it peaked, I did have control on the leading up to it even if I did silly things as I wasn't thinking straight because all.past wrongs would come to my thoughts, and come at such speeds that I didn't think I could think that fast! (I am normally a slow but deep thinker).

But shutdowns are different. Shutdowns happen with sudden triggers or an accumilation of more minor triggers. Usually am partly shut down and then a sudden decision change on top by someone, or a sudden extra change or something I am not ready to cope with and a full on shutdown can occur.



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09 Dec 2023, 8:49 pm

I punch things and hit myself. Yesterday at work I almost ripped clothing and was throwing hangers during a meltdown.



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09 Dec 2023, 9:07 pm

Yes - that's what meltdowns are.
I get aggressive with throwing things, kicking things, driving too fast, hurting myself, or self-neglect.
I don't always do those things but I get high adrenaline anytime I'm in fight / flight / freeze mode.


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10 Dec 2023, 2:50 pm

Yes, I sometimes get a bad case of the red mist. :oops:


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10 Dec 2023, 3:41 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Yes - that's what meltdowns are.
I get aggressive with throwing things, kicking things, driving too fast, hurting myself, or self-neglect.
I don't always do those things but I get high adrenaline anytime I'm in fight / flight / freeze mode.


When I was researching into meltdowns as I knew there was a link to shutdowns but didn't realize shutdowns had a name, I came across a youtube video of a skinny small young lady who when she was in her early teens, had an all out meltdown and picked up someones Harly Davidson motorbike and threw it to the other side of the street. Something she could never normally do. It demonstrates the strength available in ones body that we don't normally access.



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10 Dec 2023, 4:25 pm

I may feel extremely angry during a meltdown, but I've never been aggressive. As a kid I'd have very outward emotional outbursts.


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11 Dec 2023, 1:48 pm

A few times,but I blame that on the meds I was trying at the time.

If I get super angry I slam my fist down super hard on the cupboard.Slam doors.
Shout every swear word under the sun out loud.

Very occasionally I have broken my possessions in a full on rage of extreme anger during a melt down.
Worst was when I smashed up my phone on the concrete. Luckily it was an old phone.
I have broken PS4 controllers,headsets,cds etc too before.

I usually don't get that level of rage unless I get bullied/harassed online.And end up returning the insults back at them.
Trolls I can ignore. People who use me and pretend to be my 'friend' I can't.



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28 Dec 2023, 2:05 pm

Had aggressive meltdowns in early puberty but nowadays they're passive-aggressive.


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28 Dec 2023, 9:07 pm

Only towards the source of overwhelm. Doesn't matter if it's a person or a thing.
That is, IF the trigger is external and can be spotted beforehand.

Otherwise, a mild meltdown would make me throw things, hit or squeeze stuff.
Just as long as I feel my body other than the something fast in my head.

Or, let that fast overwhelm thing in my head lead and run.
Nevermind where; it could be a quiet corridor, it could be a busy highway. It's this intense sprint without a sense of preservation.


Just as long as I get rid of something excess in me. Doesn't matter what it is -- it can be an emotion, it can be several conflicting thought that went incoherent, or a sensation that just takes over.

There's no contrast in most of my meltdowns.


Violence and aggression? I don't need to have a meltdown for that to happen.
I've spent enough time in such state to know the difference between being violent and aggressive from actual meltdowns.


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28 Dec 2023, 11:17 pm

Today I had a meltdown that bled into online interactions and I was very aggressive in a FB group where people kept ganging up on me. I ended up getting banned because I had no filter and told them to go f**k themselves


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28 Dec 2023, 11:24 pm

Oftentimes, when something like this happens: we have a conflict when I think I understand exactly what the other person is saying and we theoretically have no conflict. I can't understand what we are arguing about, it's stupid. Then I will go crazy. This happens often.


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30 Dec 2023, 12:18 pm

It only happened once with me. I was in Grade 6 and something really set me off. I was being teased by a couple of kids who were in my special ed class and It pushed me over the edge. I was going after those two boys and than I went after all the boys in the room and than I took my boots off and threw them at one of the boys. It was a horrible experience and I made damn sure that I never acted that way again.

My Fair Lady was on TV the Saturday of that week as well. There's a scene in that movie where Eliza threw her slippers at Henry, having the same type of violent meltdown. They life imitates art.


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30 Dec 2023, 1:43 pm

I don't generally, but all bets are off of I don't get my space and black out. generally though, the aggression pretty much always is due to other people not getting the hint that I need to leave it have my space

From what I've heard, that's similar to most violent outbursts from mentally ill people. Never corner anybody if you're not prepared for that.



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02 Jan 2024, 10:17 pm

I think aggression, toward things, people or oneself, is always part of a meltdown. This happened to me sometimes in my teens/20s. Now, I can almost always divert a meltdown into a shutdown--though, of course, that's still not ideal.


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Vander571
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06 Jan 2024, 9:18 pm

I used to throw or hit something.

Broke my hand a few times and demolished a few doors.

Thankfull I don't do that (much) anymore :oops:

Also also trained myself to be able to go from very quite to raging hulk in a millisec. Buy watching. Yep. The Hulk. (and also some Mel Gibson Movies)

It has been a handy tool to have in a few situations. Better out than in.


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