personal favors

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yesterday, mark, who used to work @ home depot, came to work. adreana asked if i injured my knee and i said no i injured my stomach. and the gastroenterologist ordered me a colonoscopy even though i am just 41 and the required age is 45. mark said that he will drive me to the colonoscopy and i just have to make an appointment and tell him when. as soon as he said that, adreana and tracie told me that if mark could not drive me, they will. (all three of them have cars.)

it really surprises me, b/c none of them were particularly friendly to me. colonoscopies take time, $$$$ and energy. and they have to wait in the waiting room and hear the results. and besides, after sedation, i might faint or something and that would be inconvenient for them.

it makes me regret not being more receptive to being "friends" with the idiots @ home depot. maybe they are not all convicted felons, which i wrongfully assumed. i was/am stupid for thinking that.

If you'll feel bad, consider using uber either both ways or just for the return trip so that they don't have to wait. Another thing you could do is have them drop you off and you call them when you are done, then they take care of whatever they are doing and come afterwards. That way you are the one waiting instead of them.

Personally I refuse all these car ride offers because I prefer doing things independently, but where I live the norm seems to be to refuse the favor once by saying something like "That's okay, I don't want to impose" . Then if the person offers a second time, you are supposed to realize it's a real offer. If someone is a close friend, family member, etc then it's not necessary to refuse once first.

I don't think this is the norm everywhere and instead some places the first offer is assumed to be real, meaning offering a second time when the person already refused would seem pushy. If you think about how people around you act, you will probably know what the local cultural norm is.

kaiser insurance's policy, requires that the patient arrive @ the appointment with the driver. if the patient does not have a driver, kaiser will not do the colonoscopy @ all, unless the patient wants an unsedated colonoscopy. kaiser requires the driver to be in the waiting room during the colonoscopy, in case something goes wrong. the driver then has to drive the patient home. as a result, the driver cannot be Uber, Lyft, Task Rabbit, taxi, or anything like that.

also, if the patient cancels the colonoscopy within five days of the appointment, kaiser charges a one hundred dollar fine.

but i am really scared that i will follow the colonoscopy prep instructions: low fiber foods for three days, and one day with only clear liquids, then drink the colonoscopy prep liquid. s**t. and then the colonoscopy driver might just not show up. by then, it will be too late to arrange a ride, and i will have to cancel and reschedule the colonoscopy. after three days of going hungry. s**t.

i have a hard time with emotional overeating, so three days with only low fiber food is going to be extremely difficult for me. and quite frankly, short of an extreme situation, i do not think i will be able to use willpower only to eat only the correct foods.

bowel movements 3-5x day, 15-30 minutes each and often fail.

afraid of getting a heart attack in the litterbox, just like elvis. elvis dropped dead @ 42 and i might drop dead @ 41. oh well. 41 already really old. i haven't accomplished anything in 41 years and it is not reasonable to believe that i am going to accomplish anything either.

paranoid of needing diapers or a colostomy bag.

colostomy bag expensive, painful, inconvenient, gross

diapers $300 month, and i just earn minimum wage.

I don't think you should feel bad or stupid or look back in a disapproving way at yourself, but maybe this news can help you going forward in thinking more positively about your coworkers and maybe even being friendly with them. Best of luck to you.

also i am afraid that if mark (or adreana or tracie or any other coworker) *does* correctly drive my worthless corpse to and from the colonoscopy and wait in the waiting room, then they will (reasonably) demand that i do large personal favors for them too.

on the other hand, i do not have a car and i live too far away from work. they have plenty of friends and i have zero "friends". and i do not know how to do anything. but WTF ever, s**t.