examples of bad communication
@ home depot, the managers tell one employee what to do, and then tell the employee to tell the other ones. (grapevine). instead, i think the managers should write the demands on a note in the breakroom.
kayla b***h apparrently uses the same method of communication (grapevine). rolando penis had the nerve to tell me that kayla b***h told me that my "breathing" incident was "disrespectful" and if i was going to be like that, don't come back. instead, kayla b***h should've written a letter and given it to rolando penis to give to me. rolando penis might've misunderstood or intentionally misrepresented what (if anything) kayla b***h had the nerve to say.
a sign on the recreation center said " (martial arts program) bags only allowed in recreation center". (rolls eyes). but "martial arts program bags" did not just mean the bags with the martial arts programs' logo on it. "martial arts program" bags meant all bags from martial artists. (precision of language).
"can you" could mean "do you know how", "are you allowed to" or "will you".
"can you help me load a litterbox" could mean "do it for me" (one person loading) or "do it with me" (two people loading).
"does that make sense?". just b/c something "makes sense" does mean it is correct and/or justified. it feels like an insult to my intelligence when some annoying lil dipshit has the nerve to say "does that make sense". just b/c my critical thinking skills are not awesome enough to explain your logical fallacy, to your satisfaction, in real time, does not *prove* that your statement is correct, justified, or "makes sense". (rolls eyes). f**k doctor spock psychobabble ass holes, s**t!
auntblabby
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My whole life has been nothing but a string of bad communication on my end. It’s on me at this point.
Usually it entails me not reading the room and saying something dark and offputting, or saying something that ended up communicating an entirely different message because of how I worded it.
Sometimes it’s just me taking the ironic humor facade too far and not realizing the gravity of what I’m saying. Things like that.
I try hard to avoid ^^^ that, but despite reasonable word skills I often screw it up.
This may be why I only enjoy talking to one person at a time.
All too often I will phrase something for one person without realising that in doing so I am ignoring someone else's perspective AND how they might interpret my statements differently.
I know this shows up in WP when I respond to one poster without considering ALL posters (and subsequent readers)
For that, you all have my apologies.
My least favourite form of bad communication?
'Hello.'
Software geeks, and others working in non-people-facing roles in tech, or in any field which focuses on concentration on single tasks for extended periods, will know what I'm talking about.
Just saying 'Hello' not only interrupts me and takes me out of the zone, but it also puts the burden on me to ask you what you want. You're forcing unnecessary interaction on me, which as an autistic person I don't handle very well. And it can take me anything from 15 minutes to several hours to get back on focus.
NT people complain 'But, not saying hello is rude'. So, do both; say hello and ask the whole question at the same time. 'Hello James, I need some help. sed -E 's/.*/wc -l &/;' file.txt isn't doing what I thought it would.'
This may be why I only enjoy talking to one person at a time.
All too often I will phrase something for one person without realising that in doing so I am ignoring someone else's perspective AND how they might interpret my statements differently.
I know this shows up in WP when I respond to one poster without considering ALL posters (and subsequent readers)
For that, you all have my apologies.
You don't need to apologise CH. I am the same. I have to check myself all the time in here. I have to constantly remember that WP is not Reddit; it may be the only safe space someone has to talk about how they are feeling, and they may be talking about it at length and in uncomfortable terms, but if I reply with a snarky one-liner, it could drive them away forever and leave them with nowhere to go at all.
I know exactly what you mean with this one SFBUM. I hate it too.
So many times I have been tempted to just reply 'Yes', and sit back grinning at them like Sheldon Cooper. But I have promised myself that I will never use my autism diagnosis as an excuse to behave like an as*hole.
Yup.
My culture's nonconfrontational and indirect ways of communication doesn't help.
When I say 'I am hungry' I mean it as an expression and a fact; yet it's taken as a demand 'please feed me', or an expectation/request, or an invitation 'lets eat'.
Or if someone asks me 'are you gonna take that?' actually meant 'I want that'.
Or if I asked my boss 'which snacks do you wanna buy instead?' to her and her alone, yet says nothing that saying it out loud means giving signals that co workers are getting some snacks, too and then boss doesn't want that.
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