Am I choosy about where to socialise ?

Post Reply New Topic

Does that also explain why I have few friends to go and socialise with ?

I know I've been suggested in the past to find meet-up groups, meeting people who are maybe autistic like me. There have schemes in coffee shops called chatty cafe schemes so people can buy a drink, sit and wait for someone to socialise. Despite those things, along with the places I don't socialise like pubs, clubs etc, I still don't go. When I've been in a cafe, I'm worried I'll end up still being on my own waiting and if I do meet someone, I'm worried it might be someone who might be male when I seem to be aspiring to meet someone female and maybe a bit younger than me even though I know I can't choose who turns up.

I seem to find myself always aspiring to meet someone who maybe isn't autistic like me and I don't know if that's part of a problem because "neurotypical" people I will find usually socialising in pubs, bars or for those younger, in clubs and yet I'm not going to these places on my own and on my own initiative on a weekend. The only times have only been on family occasions or once with some work colleagues after a funeral. I may have said

I would suggest that you meet people NOT in places where people just hang out (bars, clubs, cafes, etc.) but in groups devoted to specific activities or topics that interest you.

In groups devoted to specific activities or topics, there is ready-made stuff to talk about, making them a less awkward place to socialize.

1. It's not wrong to choose where you feel comfortable socialising. Everybody has preferences about where they like to mingle
2. Usually where there's an autistic person there's probably one or more neurotypical person in the same room, there's rarely a public meeting area that is 100% neurodiverse unless you're at an autsim convention or something along those lines