Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

chris1989
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,212
Location: Kent, UK

27 Nov 2024, 3:04 pm

I've seen people some of which I'm "friends" with on social media who post photos of themselves with five other people at a bar or at a party or on a day out somewhere and that just makes me feel like I've "missed out" or "wasted youth time" by not having as many as 5 friends. I only have at least one friend but he's not a going out type or enjoys doing the stuff I mentioned and is also on the severe end of the spectrum of autism. I maybe more social than in the past but I still don't get myself down to social environments on a weekend and don't feel interested in sitting at a bar on my own hoping to talk to someone when I might have anyone come up and speak to me and so that's why I never bothered with that stuff on weekend evenings.



bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,786

27 Nov 2024, 4:44 pm

All your posts are a variation of the same thing, as I'm sure you know. It seems to me you need to start with yourself and your thoughts and attitudes, because beating yourself up is not going to lead to improvement. I think you need to start with self acceptance. Accept yourself for who you are and how you are and be happy with that and make peace with it. Stop comparing yourself to others. Once you feel good about yourself, then you can start to consider steps you might want to take that will bring you closer to your goals. Those are practical steps, they don't involve a total transformation of who you are. (For instance you can decide to spend more time socializing or make an effort to talk to a new person when you go out, things like that.) You are okay just as you are and you need to show yourself more love and acceptance.



MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,757

27 Nov 2024, 6:08 pm

^^ Yes.

OP, a lot of this looks suspiciously like a low self-concept. What other people are doing is mostly not relevant to what's going on with you, unless they're directly involving themselves in your life. For the most part somebody in another part of the country, or even city, isn't likely to have much of an impact on your unless they are so wealthy as to be able to warp the local politics in ways that are harmful to you.