I thought she was my friend

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For 25 years, I was very close with a woman who I thought was my friend. I met her back when I was a teenager when I didn't have any close friends. During those days she was my bus driver and she seemed so sweet and supportive. Then after high school and I stayed in touch through the years and appeared to have some great conversations. Then last year things ended abruptly when she told me over the phone that she needed to take care of herself and didn't have time to talk as much. Even though I gave her some room, I reached out one more time in May only to have her tell me that she was in the middle of an emergency and then hang up.

After that a light went off in my head that
1. That friendship was one-sided where I was always doing all the calling and reaching out yet she never lifted a finger.
2. From day 1 she seemed to play the victim and she would whine to me during work about how bad her life was
3. She tried to manipulate me into giving her money by talking about how bad her property taxes were. She even told me that it was so bad that she could not buy presents for her family. Yet she was able to buy me two presents, which I now know were love bombs
4. She told me some pretty sketchy stories in which she changed her stories several times
5. I also caught her in several lies

You need someone better. Don't need to analize her. Many people are faulty and have flaws. You could do with another friend.

I used to find a friend but then after a certain amount of time, they would distance themselves and do things that puzzled me which I later picked up as called "Hints".

So when I found someone to be friends with, I would purposfully only visit once or twice a year so it wasn't an issue and I could stay friends with them. Only problem was that this plan didn't work, as covid came so I did not visit them, and then they both died after having the vaccine booster as they both caught covid just after having it. I only found out when Mum.and I were visiting the graves where my Dad and Grandmother was buried, and I saw his grave. Then I tried calling in a few times but no reply. Then took Mum to the graveyard again and saw her name on the grave as well! It was awful as not many people I found I could really connect with. They were a rare few and I miss them!


You are a nice person.

Thanks for your advice Mountain Goat and I have other friends. It just that this woman and I were close for many years. However, the real reason I ended up connecting with her was because I didn't have any real friends during high school. At the time my "Friends" would exclude me from things all the time and it was hurtful. Meanwhile, lots of people kept underestimating and were not supportive. Whereas, she seemed to be the only person who supported me.

However, I realize that it was a toxic friendship in which she would always dump on me about how bad her life was. Because I was so lonely, I felt sorry for her.