living alone
I have always had a problem going to busy places like supermarkets but recently this problem has started to get much worse. I don't need to know how to be friends with someone but I need to know how to be ok around a lot of strangers so that I can cope on my own. I am moving soon from living with my grandmother to my own place that is paid for by the goverment. I will have to start to buy my own food and other general products I need for everyday living from the supermarket but I am very worried about this as I have so much anxiety when I go to busy public places. I need to be able to ask someone who works at the store about things to buy or at the checkout. I really can't go anywhere anymore because i am too worried about having to talk to someone. I don't work as I get benefit payments. I have a psychiatrist on the national health service that I talk to about these problems but he says I need to keep trying different anti-depressant drugs that will lower anxiety. None of these drugs help with my anxiety except they make me very sleepy all the time. I asked about therapy so he said he can just put me on a waiting list for cognitive behavioural therapy but this is at least 2 years. There doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do to help me and I don't know what to do. With only a few people I am ok but in a crowd I start to feel like I am in a dream then I start shaking a lot and I can't make it stop. In the past I would just shake and calm down when I got out but now I start to feel very weak and I need to sit down or I will pass out. It makes no sence to me but when this happens I can't talk or breath very well. One time I got like this and I was trying so hard to speak but I couldn't make any words come out. I really don't know why. I just couldn't do it. There must be something somebody knows about this with Asperger's to just be able to feel well enough in a supermarket so I can get my food to live on. If I can't do this I don't know how I will get things I need to live.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
sometimes i think its so unatural to pay for rent, bills buy your food its all so meaningless. months after month, i lived on my own for awile and was terrible at it. i didnt pay my bills lost my bank account because i used it to buy sportscards when i didnt have any "suffciant funds" and lived without some of my utilities. i have a feeling im going to stay in flagstaff but my mind is constintly changing! hopefully i'll stay, because i really like it here. look on the brightside my player the government is paying for your place to stay, they dont do that in america thats one major bill down. can you maybe get somebody to help you go food shopping? personally i dont know about you but im either super clean about my room or messy as all hell theres never any consistancy wich is why i had ocd. then i'd be clean all the time
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Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light
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