Understanding Aspie Girls and their stress

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Hello fellow Aspies of WrongPlanet.net,

I got a friend who is female that has Aspergers.

I heard that Aspie girls are simular but different in behavor than boys.

Guys are more agressive than girls.

Guys are more into their interests whille girls are more into personalites of people.


Since I know that there is different personality types for Aspie.

I would like to relate to her more.

For the Aspie woman here at WP, can you please give me some basics about what stresses you out. And guys, how do you handle this situation. Should I confort her somehow or leave her alone.

thank you,

_Eric

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Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric

Being around too many people for a long period of time is very stressful for me. It also makes me uneasy to be around someone who is angry or upset, even if it's not directed at me.

I think you should leave your Aspie friend alone unless she asks for comfort, because if someone tries to comfort me when I don't want to be comforted it makes me feel even worse.

When I was a teen, I was much more comfortable around guys (especially the outsiders) than with girls. The one-upmanship and bitchiness with other girls was such a waste of concentration and energy for me. Too many bad times with peers put me into a constant state of distrust toward most people my age.

Humor always put me at ease. Does she have an appreciation for comedy or anything off-beat? Does she enjoy intellectual conversation? Do you know what some of her favorite topics are?

Tell her what you said here, tell her you want to relate to her more. You might find it hard to get it out, but I bet you will be surprised how easy she will be to talk with on this. She'll probably be relieved to have someone to talk with, never know. Even if she isn't up to be comforted at least she knows you're there when she needs you. She's lucky to have someone like you who cares.

I am an aspie female, and personally I much prefer to be around males than other females. Females will often be really rude about even stupid things like clothes but guy's don't seem to even notice. (though I guess it would be good to notice if you are going to say something positive.)
Try and talk about her interests a bit, be willing to learn, try and rember at least some of what she says.

1) I recommend minimizing small talk. I know that I've always been put-off by seemingly meaningless social rituals.

2) People tell me I appear nervous all the time, even when I'm feeling comfortable. For me, this is just another facet of "social awkwardness". My body language is different from that of NTs and they interpret it as discomfort. So it might be best to keep an open mind about how comfortable she is.

3) Intellectual conversation is always good, especially on a favorite topic. It's hard to find anybody who's willing to have a thought-provoking conversation without excessive small-talk as a prerequisite. So if you're interested in that, I think she might really appreciate it.