Backfire

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Well, maybe this should be in the working forum portion since this deals with a working relationship, however I don't think my job will be to relavent.

So, at work there is this woman who is completely horrible! She is so lazy, when I ask for her to do something so that I can finish something else she gets all huffy at me. This happened the first time we worked together, and after she appeared to be all miffed I said "I am sorry if I came off rude. Just all the buzzers were everywhere and I needed to get that plate out." and all she said was, "Yeah a little." and walked off. I had no idea at the time what this really meant, but ever since she has made things very difficult for me. All she does is sit in the back and does "dishes" she just doesn't want to do real work and just lets the dishes pile up till things get so busy she has to do dishes while everyone has to deal with the rush. When I have time and during one of the many and long periods she isn't in the backroom doing dishes, I do dishes, I prepare the mixes, I actually work. But the moment she comes back she kicks me out and acts like I am not doing my job and says things like "Why don't you go back to doing what you aren't doing."

And it drives me mad that everyone loves her or at least act like it. I don't know. Or at least they hide it well or something. Anyways it is obvious that she doesn't like me and when ever I am alone with her it is like she is a bully. But when ever someone else is there she is all roses and sunshine to me. Drives me crazy.

So I decided to confront her... kind of. My build up to my confrontation was so stressful for me. The thought of having to really talk to her made me feel sick and like my head was going to explode. But I did it... kind of. I am so passive. I still took the passive road and said like "Am I doing something wrong to offend you or something?" I don't think my sarcasm was very clear so yeah she took it seriously and started to list how I come off. And I really made me think if people think I am rude and I don't talk to them because I don't like them when that is not the case at all, it is only the case for that horrid woman. So yeah I started to feel horrible and I.. umm got a few tears at the thought of it all and just being overwhelmed at the time. So yeah I tried to explain that I am not trying to be rude and that I have always had problems socializing, because apparently she doesn't like me because I don't socialize like the rest of them.

So now she pities me or something and acts like we're "best buds" ugh. Serious backfire. I still can't stand her. Last night she asked for me to make a website for her! Then later she offered me a ride home. I don't know if I can keep this up for long. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. What do I do? I still don't want her trying to bully me like before.

Grab some stuff off the internet about AS, print it out and give it to her.

It doesn't sound like you are going to make a lot of headway trying to explain things on your own.

Give her and everyone at work a chance to understand how you are, but not just from your attempts at explanation.

Be selective in the information you give her. Perhaps don't give anyone the label Asperger's Syndrome, to put on you if you think it may cause more trouble at work.

Perhaps make a list of your traits, behaviours, that you want them to understand, and say you know loads of folks just like you (you do! here at WP! )

It's that or, verbal confrontation again, or living uncomfortably with her advances, or shutting her out and possibly pissing her off so you live with the stress of her reaction.

I know there are many folks here who will say to NEVER let anyone know at work that you have AS.
I know there are those who either believe it happens or actually have experienced, being fired from work 'because' of AS no matter if the official reason was something else.

I also know that there are employers who will still treat an employee with respect even if they do have AS or ADD/HD, etc.

Hope that helps a little

Thanks. I am going to the school counselor tomorrow which will probably lead to an official diagnosis so that till help too with the coworkers.