Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

jade10025
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 61
Location: 40 minutes south of Seattle, Washington

09 Oct 2007, 5:42 pm

I dont know what to do. I have Asperger's, though im high functiong and hide it well, i dont handel emotions well. I think he has Asperger's too. hes really upset, and i tried to logically show him didnt mean to hurt his feelings, and i apoligised for everything i could think of, but hes still mad. im giving him his space, cause i think thats the best option, but not only am i stressed to my breaking point, i have never had any close friendships and i have no idea what to do. my experience is comming from what ive seen on tv, which i know is a horrible representation of how life really is. Any advice? He feels like hes been left out of a game a group of our friends are going to. And though unintentional, he was. No one thought he would want to go, as hes never seemed interested in football, nor in spending the riduclus amount of money the tickets cost. So noone thought to invite him. Now he feels hurt for being left out. I would get hm a ticket if I could, but we had to buy scalped tickets, and there is no way he would be even close to sitting with us. I wasnt even the one doing the inviting. I'd have fought for him to at least be invited if i knew all his friends but him were going. Any advice how to not make him worse, and what to do? :cry:



Last edited by jade10025 on 09 Oct 2007, 7:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Jainaday
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,099
Location: in the They

09 Oct 2007, 6:22 pm

You could sincerely offer him your ticket- or you could try to sell it, and then use the absurd amount of money on party goods to consume as you watch the game together online or on TV. Invite any other friends in the group and see if they want to join you.


_________________
And if I die before I learn to speak
will money pay for all the days I lived awake but half asleep


maritimeblaze17
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 101

09 Oct 2007, 6:49 pm

I've reacted the way your friend did in the past and took such incidents personally. Then I realized that, in many cases, the people going didn't think I'd have the money or would be interested. Or the other fact was that they didn't honestly want me to go with them because my social skills issues "made it hard" for them to want to invite me. Could it be that your friend may act in a way that makes your other friends not want to invite him on group events?

What I would suggest proposing is that you tell him straight up that you didn't think he would want to go and apologize. Furthermore I would offer to go with him to a future sporting event and promise that you'll think of him when future plans like this are made. That's the best that you can do. If he can't get past that then that's his problem, not yours.

What your friend needs to learn--and maybe you can help him in this area--is that every non-invitation to an event is not a personal insult against him. It took me a long time to get over that and even now I have some issues of anger when my friends do things without inviting me.



jade10025
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 61
Location: 40 minutes south of Seattle, Washington

09 Oct 2007, 7:03 pm

I have appoligized for his feeling left out, his being left out, for hurting his feelings, for not realizing that this would happen, I have explained we honestly didnt think he would even be interested, and asked if there was anything i could do to make him feel better. I guess theres nothing else I can do. I was in a similer situation with his roommate last month, and I was the one freeking out. I didnt go off as bad, and i apoligized within an hour realizing i over reacted drasticly. I kinda expected him to do the same thing, but i just talked with the roommate and apparently this silent treatment will go on fpr a while. :( I guss its up to him now. Thank you.



jade10025
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 61
Location: 40 minutes south of Seattle, Washington

09 Oct 2007, 7:06 pm

Thank youu too jane. That is a good idea for future reference. Hes not talking to me right now, so unfortunately that idea wont work for this incident. Maybe I can do something like that when he calms down though.



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

09 Oct 2007, 7:21 pm

im shure he will get over it, maybe you could buy him his favorite sportscard to smooth things over?


_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light


maritimeblaze17
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 101

09 Oct 2007, 10:04 pm

You've done all that you can. At this point he is going to have to get over it. You've done your best to make amends.



cron