Coworker seems to want to be friends

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One of my coworkers seems to have taken a platonic interest in me. She asked to see my website and also gave me her deviant art site and her livejournal. In order to see her livejournal I had to sign up so I started one too. Anyway, she wants to go fabric shopping with her so I can make her a stuffed wombat (which she will pay for). I feel awkward because at times I feel like she feels sorry for me because I have no friends in the area and am so reserved. She sometimes talks in that voice people generally reserve for small children when she is speaking to me. She also jokes around a lot, though, and I have a hard time knowing what to expect from her. In turn, she seems to not understand a lot of what I say, either due to speaking style or vocabulary (not sure which).

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do, if anything. She seems like a nice and fun person, and I do think I'd like to be friends with her. I'm not sure how to get over these awkward feelings, though.I'm also not sure if I should say something about the possible pity she treats me with (I don't want to offend her).

A co-worker is not a friend. When push comes to shove, self-interest comes first. Be nice and coridal but understand that NO co-worker is a friend.

Why is that, bittergeek? Many of my other coworkers seem to be friends. It's just retail, and many of them (including this girl) are still in high school.

I would say go ahead and be friends with her. Maybe she thinks you are a shy person and she is trying to get you to 'come out of your shell'. I hope that makes sense.

Example: A group of people are sitting in a cafeteria and they see a person they don't know sitting alone. They invite the person to come sit with them.

She might be doing the same thing. That might be why it comes across as pity.

Be advised that I'm terminally cynical because I've had "freinds" at work stab me in the back. When it comes down to your job or theirs, what will they choose?

I'm friends with several of my co-workers, I've even gone out with some of them. It's ok, go with it and enjoy. If it works out great, if not...that happens to everyone.

It sounds like warming up to her a little would be harmless. I think that befriending her is worth a try.

I don't see any harm in being friends.. give it a go, it might be well worth it.

I'm not close friends with any of my co-workers, but I have a few acquaintance friends. It's kind of nice, really.

Yes. It bears repeating that there is a difference between a friend, a "buddy" and an aquaintance.

hmm the question is how do you tell the difference? (still cant)

good luck with it, it sounds worth a try to be friends

do what you feel comfortable with, Civet. and take it all in your own time. if she means it, she'll probably wait.

Something I'd want to consider with that is whether it's a playful thing, like, "let's just have some silly fun like a couple of little kids!" Inviting someone to join in the fun isn't pity, and it sounds like she's a pleasant and fun person.

Still I know what you mean about that tone of voice, that leaves you wondering why this person thinks they have to be condescending. But I think it's worth giving her the benefit of the doubt, and see how this goes.

Bittergeek, I have quite a few friends where I work. For everything that sucks, the coworkers are actually a highlight. Everyone there is normally happy (easily brought down by the job, though). It's almost like we all unite against our common enemy... the angry, drunk customers.

All the people there are people I like to be around normally. Fun, able to take a joke, and lighthearted. I wouldn't trust them with anything very serious off the bat, but it would not take much for them to gain my trust in that context.

We have genuinely good people in my workplace. I work at a Yellow Cabs call centre in Australia, by the way.

Friends with coworkers? It depends where you work. Environment has a lot to do with it. I'm pretty friendly with one or two of my coworkers at my main job, and it pays to be - my department is in a very teamy environment and the last thing we need is tension - especially where I work, since tension does amazing things to your attention to detail. And we NEED attention to detail or else we could have a LOT of people to answer to.

Now in sales or another competitive environment, you have to be a little more guarded. If you're too friendly, you might end up telling your "friends" a little bit too much, and they could use that extra information against you.

No, I do not see a problem with that, Civet. As long as you are not too seriously friendly with them, everything will be fine.