work bully

Post Reply New Topic

Lastnight I had another issue with this bully at work. This guy is huge, probably the result of steroids and ever since he became so big hes always gotta make everyone know around him he is the toughest and its always his way or the high way. He bullies alot of people and of course im one of his favorite targets, not quite sure why, probably because im easy to bully, others wont let him get away with it but since I let him do it to me because I dont want an altercation, he keeps targeting me.

He always waits till he has an audience, then puts me down with homosexual jokes, gotta be the center of attention, gotta put others down to make himself feel better (apparently once the police got called to his house because he threatened to kill himself with a shotgun, he ran into the woods and a helecopter had to come and use F.L.I.R to find him at night, the police ordered him to surrender and he dropped the gun and surrendered, it was all over the news and after that he did not come to work for over a mounth). He also has such a fragile ego, and if one of the people he makes fun of pokes fun at him back or out smarts him or wont do what he tells them, he gets his feelings hurt quickly and eather glairs at them like a crazy person or lashes out at them.

Today, I had enough of him targeting me, he was making gay jokes about me in front of the entire lunch room, instead of responding i ignored him (which he hates) and when he said out loud that he would never talk to me again I responded 'ohh... ok thank you' very casually. Everyone broke out in laughter, the way I said it was perfect (and i did not mean it to come out as casually) instantly I could tell I damaged his ego and did it right in front of the whole room, they all were laughing at him. He then refered to me as 'Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde' apparently reaching (he claimed that he would diagnose me as bi polar if he was a DR, not realizing the reason my attitude changes so quickly is because hes around, im happy and friendly until he comes).

Im not looking for suggestions but if you have any feel free to shair. Maby if someone had a similar experience you could tell me how did you handel it. I am mainly writing this to tell everyone that I scored a victory today, i beat the bully at his own game. My stratagy of not giving him what he wanted, well... ignoring him worked... because he said nothing to me after the break room, did not even look at me and claimed he would never talk to me again (he beleives by not talking to me hes punishing me, boy do I feel grounded )

Yeesh, you work with one scary guy. Is it possible for you to find other work before he goes postal?
Oh, and you did handle it beautifully.

thats terrible my man. when i worked at the mall as a janitor this one other janitor referd to me as waldo, because i couldnt find the janitors work station and spent a good part of 25 minutes walking around the mall at nite trying to find it, he'd call me waldo over the walkie talkie everytime and it sucked, mimicing me looking for the janitors station. if i would have worked there longer the "waldo" jokes probably would have progressed into the ghey jokes wich is why im happy i got out of there when i did. i got enough of that crap at home and school.

I would probably pay someone to smash his face in or something like that, depending on how much it bothered me.

You don't deserve to be treated like that at work. What I would probably do is document the times that he harasses me, tell him once that I didn't appreciate it, and then document each time it happens. Once you've compiled a list of incidents, have gone on the record telling him that you don't appreciate it, and then have the evidence that you need, I would then report it to HR. What he's doing is inappropriate.

Otherwise, though, he probably does have insecurity issues. Anyone who bullies and picks on someone else has those issues. People comfortable with who they are don't put down and pick on others. Those who are arrogant are like that too. They don't need to knock down others to lift themselves up.

Given that this guy is making anti-gay jokes it seems to me that he probably has issues with his own sexuality. It seems like--Larry Craig is the most recent example--those who are most hostile to gays are the ones who have deep insecurities within themselves. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if this guy is sexually confused about his orientation. It wouldn't surprise if he is either bisexual or completely gay, living in the closet.

If you are gay he might just ironically into you sexually and that might scare the living pants off of him. Whatever the case he's not worth your time.

Heh, indeed, thank u for the posts guys, i enjoyed reading them. Its to bad we (and many others, NT or not) have to deal with this treatment. We can be great workers and good people, but because we may not be fast in our feet in an argument or interested in insulting eachother in front of an audience as we have more important things to do, and cause we stick out, we are different, people with insecurites like this man have to pick on others (especally those who are small, or me who looks like a nerd and sticks out in that crowd of laborers). I will take the documentation advice, I have others who have had it with him, its a difficult battle, some of the management is related to himn but I dont care, sometimes we must pick our battles and this is a battle I choose.

I felt really good making him look stupid in front of people but realize hes very unstable, and so i will watch it, its obvious this man has many deep problems, probably stemming from horrible childhood (he was in an orphanage, probably miss treated) has an inferiority complex probably as a result and seems whenever he picks on others it should be fine, but if someone gives him a taste of his own medicin its difficult to explain but inside it hurts him, tears him apart i can tell. He is obsessive and always talks about how big his muscles are, the fact he is a dancer and stipps and beleives he is the best cause he is the only stripper, its very strange and creepy, he always maintains this persona of the best, toughest guy, yet inside hes a very disterbed, wounded person.

Heh, i like phycology and try to wonder how ppl end up like this, im sure we all have our problems, we are all very different also, but I think we are a little better then this.

Heh, i wont let it bother me, he harassed me a bit today, but was oddly quiet, looked like he was pickin on someone else this time, i won my fight! Score 1 for aspies/HFA!

It seems like this guy has insecurity issues related to his sexuality as well.

Could he be fired or reprimanded for harrassment? I mean, it sounds like he's done this to enough people that at least it might not be so obvious who told the boss, right? I wouldn't want to work with this guy, and he's not stable. He's what they call a "loose cannon", and this means that he's unstable and potentially unsafe, though I don't know where the cannon part fits in. It's an old phrase I've heard before.
At the same time, if you do anything like this, be careful. He might flatten your tires on your vehicle or wait for you outside of work. Tell your boss that you ( and other employees) feel threatened by his behavior and if it looks like Mr. Psycho would do an act of revenge, that you want a bit more security in the parking lot/office. I've been hearing alot about employees/ex-employees coming back and shooting their fellow workers. just tread carefully, although this guy sounds dangerous just to leave there as well.

Thanks for the advice. He is not pleasant to work with, and sucks for him cause nobody else really would hang out with him I decided to try and be-friend him and thats what I got in the end. Seems everybody who trys to reach out to him he flips on.

ANyways, since I have not been his buddy he has not said a single word to me, which is great. I dont think ill have any more issues with the guy, but if I do I will be taking your advice we do have security at this warehouse but nothing as serious as it should be with this guy. Seems the thing you gotta do when dealing with people like this is to not allow them to exploit or see your weaknesses and not get to friendly with them. Since I stayed away and wont sit with him in the break room hes gotton the message and has left me alone since the incident.

Things have improved, I latly have detached and depersonalized for the most part at work, even more so then natural cause the place hires such idiots and weirdos (heh, im probably 1 of them ) that I simply cant stand interacting with anybody other then my boss and a select few anymore, the stress is not worth it, bad for the health.

The boss is cool with me usually, and even tho I have been their less then about half the crew, i make often the most because not only do i volenteer for overtime, but also am one of the top producers so he gives me raises. He also knows I have HFA, and that because im the only collage grad who has difficulty dealing with these crazy, crackhead, ex convicts he pays me well cause hes afrid to loose me, i have developed ways to deal, tho its always changing.

Im sure we all develop our own strategies dealing with ppl, i dont have to explain how I feel to you guys im sure.

Things are gettin better, but i still may purchase a taser anyways, hehehe

Im glad things worked out for you. I have somewhat of a similar story.
Back in Jr. High i was standing around in the boot room waiting for the city bus to come so i go home. I was standing alone and some guy in the grade above me started to pick on me with teasing. I was just ingoring him hoping he would stop but he didn't. I happened to see his picture on a basketball photo in the entrance to the school gym one day and i remembered this. So as he was still teasing me i disappeared around the corner to look at the photo to find out what his name was. His name happened to be on the photo right below his picture. I reappeared into the boot room and he continued to tease me. I calmly said his name to him and asked him to stop bugging me. He looked at the girl sitting next to him and said to her "how did he know my name."
Id never met the guy before and it freaked him out that i knew his name but he stopped teasing me.

dalhousie 12....That is sooo funny!! I love it you out smarted him with powers of observation and he doesn't get it!! !! !! ! Love it!! ! I used to train dogs and in high school one of the guys was ragging on me can your dog do a trick and just being stupid....so I said oh you want a trick heres one and I knew my dog had to pea so I let my dog pea on him and then told the dog to hold him...So after he was pissed on he could not move because the dog stood there barking at him and not allowing him to move. It was good timing ..a little sadistic but alot of fun! He left me alone after that! I think he almost purinated on himself when the dog went into guard mode !

He has an odd personal life, and im only concerned about work. Latly hes been leavin me alone!! ! He is a bit tempermental but in all fairness he is a good worker and when hes in his good mood hes an awsome guy to talk too.

I just always wonder, i mean, if he really would do anything, honetly i doubt it, i feel safe working with him (just annoyed) and again... whatever occured was at home not work, for whatever reason. Im glad hes leaving me alone now and I honestly dont feel threatened anymore and can say i dont think hes that loose, well... maby a little bit of a loose cannon.