What does it mean when people do this?

Post Reply New Topic

I have bad social skills, even for an aspie, so I figure maybe some of you will actually know this.

Every once in a while someone that is not even really an acquaintance will come up to me and introduce themselves. Then they ask for my phone number on the pretext that "maybe we'll hang out sometime." The odd thing is, that they never give me their number back, and they invariably never call me. My suspicion is it has something to do with social networking and that they just want to add more names to their call list to make them appear like they have more friends than they really do. It's happened multiple times and I think it is very strange, does this ever happen to you or does this kind of weird stuff just happen to me? And what does it mean?

Perhaps they think you're not interested because you didn't ask for their number back.

I should have been more specific, sometimes I have asked for their number in return. They respond "I'll just call you." It's bizarre, but it seems to be a common behavior. I thought I implied that when I wrote "The odd thing is, that they never give me their number back" but now that I've read it back I can see how you misinterpreted it.

exchanging numbers is just a way for people to connect (no pun intended). Usually, if a NT asks for it, it's to open the friendship up to hanging out or going for a movie; it's to let you know they may get back in touch.

Really more of a symbolic thing, i have more numbers on my phone than i can count, but i don't really call people a whole lot.

A lot of social tendancies are bizarre, it's just experience on what makes other people comfortable.

I don't understand it either. Random people on Facebook add me, and I have to press "reject" on them because I don't know who the hell they are.

What would be bizarre to me would be if someone actually did what she or he gave the impression she or he wants to do. Whatever happened to "I'll call you" really meaning "I WILL call you?"

I believe that as long as we do not hold people accountable for the words that they say, they will continue to nurture their ideas of what is socially correct. Even God says He will hold people accountable for whatever idle words they speak. If the words "I'll call you" are spoken when someone has no intention of calling, then I can't see how those words are not idle (they serve no purpose).

I may have read it wrong, but...

Random people walking up to you, introducing themselves, and asking for your phone number? That sounds really strange to me. That it has happened multiple times? Really strange.

Do you look like someone famous or something? That's all I can come up with. That's a pretty big leap, too.

I don't know if I've ever really encountered this sort of thing. Most people I met were people that were acquaintances of other people I already knew. Even then, the most we did usually was exchange names.

I've never encountered anything like that--people asking for your # and then not calling.

I've had random guys ask for my # before, at a social event, like at a bar. And I know I shouldn't give it to them, but sometimes I do. I think, "It's a cell phone so they can't use the # to find out where I live." Then they keep calling and leaving messages even though I never answer or respond. I don't understand why anyone would call someone twice a week for months without getting any kind of response.

When I'm walking my dog, random guys will try to talk to me. It's really annoying. But all of this has to do with the game of hunting for sex and/or a partner, I believe.

This happens sometimes, and I've always found it to mean they interested to u somehow, and would like u to show initiative back to take things farther. Procuring a number keeps the channel open for future interaction even if there is no immediate interest. People like to keep their options plentiful and open.

Now the thing about people getting your number, not wanting yours, and never calling; u got me there. The only theory I can come up with is that it may have sounded needy asking for their number, and were kinda turned off by the fact u may be persuing them.

I thought it was strange, too. Although usually when they do this they try to justify it by saying something like they've seen me in the gym and maybe they'll call me to play a pick up game, or they're in one of my classes and they'll call me to come over to play video games with their group sometimes but they never call back.

The pattern seems very strange to me, and I wonder if there is something about me that is a red flag in drawing this sort of thing. I don't think I look like anyone famous, I'm pretty distinctive though...



The first paragraph makes sense. The theory you have wouldn't work for every time because I haven't asked for their number back every time. Whether I ask or not they don't give it back. It's pretty confusing to me, that's why I asked.

Why do they ask for your number? If I want you to contact me I would give my number, not ask for yours. It is me that is wants you to contact me. Then again I might be breaking some social convention or something.

Then again if you don't want them to contact you, you could just give a fake number. Some radio shows have a mobile number you can give out and it records their message or just make it up.

As for people wanting to call you 2 times a week for a month that is just nuts. You would think they would get the message. I think it is the fact you gave them the number they must of convinced themselves it was a genuine offer.

GoatOnFire that is strange. I can imagine it happening once in a year. Maybe they forgot had second thoughts. From TV shows it might be an exercise to see how many numbers they can get as a confidence boost.

My friend meets random people on the train to school, or in other random places, and then the next thing I know is that she's dating him and then decides to have sex??? And there I am yelling at her "you idiot! You could get an STD!" and she still does it.

I get the feeling that the only person who could answer this would be a person who would do this. And I doubt there are any of those on WP.

Yeah, I can't imagine anyone here doing something that senseless.

Hi,
I read your post with interest and yeah, it´s weird and I´m not saying that being unaspie, I have any more of an idea generally about social interaction, because, generally, it´s a minefield, however, I think I might be able to help you on this one.
Very often, phone number acquisition is just a way of avoiding a final goodbye that could be interpreted as being rude, i.e. ´right, I´ve met you now, and you´re not very interested, therefore I´m not going to suggest meeting up again.Goodbye!´ It´s like saying, ´I think you´re nice and I´m going to show that by asking for your number (not necessarily because I´ll call you)

I do this myself sometimes, and I don´t mean it to cause offence, quite the opposite. You might not call because you think it might be weird on your part to ring someone you only met once and invite them to the cinema, or, you might just forget to. But the main point is that it´s along the whole ´social grooming´thing when people generally don´t have any ´point´in interacting, they´re just doing to for grooming purposes, like monkeys do. We´re just monkeys picking fleas at the end of the day.