How To Make Friends

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Seeing as though I don't go to school, I can't make friends. I also can't join a club, as there is none in this town. I can't travel either. I'm friends with my brother's mate, but I want my own friends, not my brother's. Is there any way to make real life friends?

I am in a very similar situation myself.

Tim

Ya I hear ya, all the friends I have are from my school and collage days, to this day I can make some acquatances, but i fear someday future responsibilities will make it impossible to hang out with them, then ill have no choice but to try and hang out with someone else or be alone.

I'm no expert... but...

The best way I've found to make friends is to do something kind for someone else. If someone is in need (could be the smallest thing - example someone doesn't know how to upload & post pictures to a message board) if you have a way to help them & do, without asking for anything in return, that makes a big impact on people. They usually always remember it. You might just find you have made a friend out of them too. Course you could turn yourself into a sucker, someone who always comes knocking on your door when they need something. They also usually require b-day & holiday gifts too. So make sure you really want friends first.

In the past, I just hung around on my own, and people came up to me. That's how I found friends. They got to know me, but I ignored them a bit at first, due to the fact that before I used to have so called friends who backstabbed me, and now, I go out with my newer friends mostly everywhere, it's really good.

I wish I knew the answer. I don't have friends even though I got to a large university. It's probably because I am a chronically-depressed, cynical, irritable, moody nerd. All I can say is, good luck!

The only places I go to for any possibility of friendship are work and college.

At work, people either end up being nice to me overall or just weirded out by me. I don't know how to progress those nicer people to friendship. I've tried in the past to do so but could never move things beyond work. Besides, most of them are high schoolers and I'm like... old...

At school though, I hardly have much of a good opportunity to get to know anyone. It seems like everyone already knows each other and I'm just the outsider trying to nose in. My social ineptness becomes even more apparent at school than work since pretty much all interaction is casual. At least at work I can try to get to know a person through a more formal approach.

It probably doesn't help at all that I'm not into typical topics such as dating, alcohol, concerts, phones and who is doing what with whom...

Well, the whole friendship thing is something I'm still trying to figure out. I imagine I still will be for quite some time.

I agree with you 100%. Plus, nerds are really good in bed...

Many kisses from the US!

i cant be your rl friend but ill be your online friend ^_^. and as fore finding friends most of mine suck for the most part there a bunch of alcoholic pot smoking ignorant f***s. but some of them are pretty cool who i mostly hang out with. although im personally getting tired of hanging out with them. i don't drink. i stop smoking. and there not intellectual people. i want to find people who are smart open minded and interested in a intellectual debate or conversation. haven't really find any people like that but im keeping my eye out for them lol. smoking weed part doest bother me as the constant drinking they do added with there ignorantness.

I try to treat life as a video game... and since when did it ever matter when video game characters mess up a few times or get in emotional danger.

So I just take hard shot risks I guess... sometimes. lol

Hi never really had friends until 23/24. There was the occasional person that was nice to me before that but I never knew how to reciprocate friends. Reciprocating friendship is the main learning curve. There is quite a lot in it, but you can learn. It is stuff like learning to take the initiative sometimes and that friendship isn't bought and it doesn’t usually happen overnight either. You will not really know if somebody is a friend straight away. You have to preserver with it, even if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling in will fade over the months. You make friends by meeting a different people in different walks of life, rather than putting all you effort on one person (this is a classic mistake that I've made and it can backfire quite badly). You might not make more that 1 friend in 10 people you meet. You need to ask yourself how many friends you are happy with. I have a couple of close friends but they have their friends. Those are separate ‘circles’ but I choose not to be a part of those except from in the friends of friends way. An average person needs at least 2-3 of these ‘circles’, there can be some overlap but each of these groups is more secure within the ‘circles’. There are different types of friends. I learnt this the hard way, so I don’t want you to do the same. You have everything from an occasional activity friend who just meets occasionally but hasn’t developed into something more, to closer friends that meet more regularly and do a range of things together. It really depends what types of friends you want. You want to make friends but that doesn’t mean you have figured out what they are and which ones you want.

Usually the whole school situation is a bit full on to mange, and also people talk because they know everyone so I would say that is a pretty advanced. Besides I wasn’t interested or oblivious to more than just being around people at school age. But as you want to make friends and you not in school and you are isolated, you sound like you are in the situation that I was when I realised I wanted friends. However the number of opportunities not counting any internal problems socialising is not usually an issue for most people, although they often believe they have this lack of opportunities because of not knowing what to do and frustration. In your case I’m not sure. Are you in a really remote area? What is the population of the town, are there many kids you age? You can look up the stats from the census. You say there are no activity groups what are you basing this on? You need to find all that out first before you can do anything else.

The very first thing I would do after finding an opportunity to meet people in something you might enjoy (of which you may need a little help with) is not try to make friends but just get used to being around those people. Just getting involved as best you can, observe the way people talk to each other. I would do this for couple of hours a week for month at the very least. You can make other efforts during but that should be you first thing.

You could find someone with the same interests as you or find out what is interesting to them and talk about it. I don't have many friends, but the ones I did have usually had similar interests as me. However my girlfriend is the opposite of me at most things, so I don't know how she became one of my best friends for over 3 years.