Touching Issue

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I don't mind if someone wants to rub my arm for example or massage my back..., but if they just leave their hand resting on my arm or back it drives me crazy. I seem to be ok as long as they keep moving around but as soon asthey stop moving i cannot stand them touching me.

Is anyone else like this or am i just weird?

Yeah, I'm not too comfortable with it either. So it's not just you.

No, I feel very similarly, in fact. When I was younger, probably about ages 6-9, I had a difficult time with my parents hugging me, but it never was more than a slight uncomfortable-ness. It only became difficult when I was hugging other people, like when I was in Rainbow Girls, a girls' community service group plus a belief in God and friendship. It doesn't bother me (much) anymore, but I've never been partial to any kind of physical contact, really.

I was the same with my parents. Wouldn't let them hug me. Eventually, as I got older, they stopped trying . . . which is good.

If you're not realted to me, you have no excuse to be touching me. Can't stand unwanted/unexpected physical contact.

I don't mind physical contact, but only on my own terms. Sometimes one of my parents will try and hug me, which I just find uncomfortable but I'm pretty okay with it if I initiate it myself. I'm pretty good with physical contact with my boyfriend as well, it took me weeks to get comfortable hugging him but I'm okay now. He gives me my space when I need it.

I go to an all girls school so hugging people is pretty common for hellos and goodbyes and whatever else. People seem to think I'm cold or distant because I don't give good hugs they say :/ I'm just keen to pull away as soon as possible. The worst feeling for me in the world is people jabbing me with one or two fingers when I'm not expecting it. In the sides, arm, whatever, I's seriously rather prefer a hard punch in the arm than that. People have worked out I don't like it now and from time to time gang up on me, hold me down and repeatedly jab me in the side :/ That usually makes me shut down for the rest of the day, I just get tired and stop interacting with anyone.

I have trouble being poked in the arm as well, everywhere else is fine being poked.

Getting touched by someone whom I already know well and trust deeply is one thing because I already know their intentions are good and the touching in their case is part of our rapport that I am familiar with.

OTOH, some people don't see the harm they do when touching in what they think is a joking way. Any kind of getting touched unexpectedly or even suddenly seeing another person materialize from the corner of my eye will cause me to jump as if I stepped on a live wire.

One example that I am extremely prone to attracting is getting tickled in the ribs from behind, and I wish I could get an answer as to why. This one brings out the very worst of the worst in me and it has caused rifts between myself and members of my extended family and with the more thoughtless of colleagues at work. For me, getting tickled like that feels like electric wires being pressed against me and I don't see the humour about anybody doing that to me or anybody else.

I've been bumped in the knee from behind only to turn and find a woman who seemed to have the wrong idea about getting my attention or affection -nice try! A man doing that wouldn't have been so lucky

I hate to be touched lightly and to be touched without having some kind of warning. Being tapped on the shoulder or touched lightly on the arm by someone in conversation always makes me flinch. I especially cannot stand people who have to touch you while talking to you (you may know the type... contantly touching your shoulder or arm or hand).

Hugging is also a no-no unless you warn me and you're either related or a very good friend. Even then, if I say "don't hug me" then don't hug me.

I agree with this one. I don't like it, unless the person doing it is a girl I'm interested in (or who seems to be interested in me). In that case, I find it quite flattering.

I never liked my family hugging me really.

And any other times I only like certain people doing it.

Oh, I can agree with that one - the sense of being manipulated and dominated really annoys me and the odd thing is that people go through the motions of acting 'offended' because you don't want them tapping, prodding, poking and otherwise molesting you. It doesn't occur to them that even though it is supposedly 'normal' to accept being touched by casual acquaintances and others in the workplace, it is still an invasion of personal space and the mere fact of being stuck in a workplace is sufficient incursion into your life to be a problem in itself.


That is usually the stage at which other people start getting defensive.

When people touch me and keep it static, I am very conscious of it. I concentrate probably a good 75% of my mind onto that hand. If they move it, I feel a little less uncomfortable, but touch was always something I've been awkward with. I remember watching movies with dates and I can still remember the physical sensations of the hand and arm. Of course they weren't moving because we were watching the movie. But I remember more about the sensations than I remember watching the movie in the cinema...

Wish I was that lucky...

I still remember when I was 6 or 7 years old, and my grandmother tried to hug me. I didn't know what she was doing and I freaked out. My parents weren't physical at all. I don't ever remember seeing them kiss, hug, hold hands, etc. I'm sure I had seen people hug on t.v. and in the movies, but I guess I didn't realize it would ever happen to me.

My younger sister does this all the time and it makes me want to scream!

There are certain people I don't mind making pysical contact with. In my little group of friends, we have already established that we greet each other by a loose, brief hug (kind of like the ones you see the gymnasts do on TV). I also hate shaking hands with people. I don't know why, but it just really bothers me.