Dealing with depression

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Hello all, I am new here (just registered tonight), though I was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago. I am 25. I just wonder how you all deal with depession and loneliness, and how you get through it when you are at the brink, as I am now. I used to turn to Nine Inch Nails to save me, but lately its beyond even that.

First, you figure out what's depressing you. I'm not kidding. Sit down and write out a list. Then you look very carefully at it, and decide if what's on it is real, or something that's just your mind attacking you. Then you divide it into things you can do something about and things you can't help. You do something about that which you can handle.

About that which you can't handle, you get help. A friend to talk to, an doctor who is interested, whatever. Lacking that, you ask for help here. There are any number of people here who will listen. We might not give really good advice, but we'll listen.

The most important thing about depression is, that it's usually "mischanneled anger." Anger is a useless emotion. It wrecks your life, doesn't solve the problem or problems, and makes you want to scream!

You might also ask a doctor for an antidepressant, but remember that antidepressants are only an "intervention." You have to get at the root of the problem. The great thing to remember is that NOTHING is hopeless.

I have a quote that usually cheers me up. I'm not religious, but this happens to be from the old testament.

"And yet, returning, I saw that the race is not to the swift, nor the contest to the strong, but that time and chance happeneth to all men" (and women). I don't know about you, but that gets me over a lot of rough spots.

Good luck.
Beentheredonethat

I deal with depression by simply not dealing with it.
For me it's kind of impossible to deal with and at this point especially.

With lonliness...I come onto WP or talk to people online. It makes me feel that I am liked, even though the people I am communicating with I have probably never met.

I gotta be honest with you. Chat rooms help, but the only real solution is finding friends who sympathize with you in reality. Us aspies know that it's hard as hell to acquire friends thru small talk and other NT methods, so here's what I do. Most of my friends (besides my housemates) are fellow engineering students, people I can relate to because we have the same interests, and because I have enough skill at what I do that they appreciate my input (on group projects and study sessions, etc), and accept me for that, in spite of my social awkwardness. Figure out what your good at, and find out who needs your skills or your input, and make them your friends. Take a hobby or a club or something and pursue it. If you use that as a basis of interaction with others, then after a while, those people become your friends and you can talk about life with them.

I know that all that is easier said than done, but thats what helped me.

As for missalaneous things that cheer me up: I like watching old Donald Duck and Goofy cartoons. Try searching youtube for "Felix the Cat", and watch the black and white ones from the 1920s and 30s (the color ones are no good).

Sadly, this has been me for most of my life. I have to figure out how to do something about it very soon. Prozac can only do so much when you wish that you didn't exist in the first place.

I used to turn to NIN and it did nothing but get me more depressed...

Stop listening to that kind of music.

Read this book, it saved me: "Man's search for meaning", by Viktor Frankl. It's like 6 bucks, and very short. It's not a self-help book, but man! it was a lifesaver!

Oh, exercise, and get some sun!

Try to break out of the loneliness. Do something different. New.
I think many of us here have problems like that sometimes/all the time.
It´s not easy. But there must be a way.
There must be.

I fought going onto medication for long ('cause I was reasoning my life is fine, I should feel happy... but I wasn't). Now I'm on Cilift Citalopram), which has changed my life around. It just makes you feel like you can cope and see the beauty in each day. Because there is beauty, even if it is just a clear sky or a friendly face or a kind gesture. And you feel like you are ok, despite being different and struggling with certain things: you can face them and try and work around them and just accept yourself.

If you are depressed, you just don't see the good things in life anymore, you actually struggle to love yourself and the smalles thing is turned into a big thing.

Even more important is to find a good therapist with experience in asperger's. They will help you find the right medication and then work with you to realise your strengths and survive your weaknesses.

All the best. Never give up hope.

Anger is most certainly not a useless emotion. You just need to channel it properly. Harness it up, and it will pull your chariot across the sky.
As far as your anger is concerned, you need think about exactly who (or more likely what as in various social systems and values) has wronged you, and go after that, not in an enraged, I'm going to blow up kind of way, but give it a good hard thought about how you want to deal with the situation. Having a plan helps, it makes everything else in your life fall into place. Suddenly you have the motivation to do things you did not think you were capable of.
The last thing you need is someone making you feel guilty about being angry. That will just make the depression worse. I know because I've gone through it recently.

>>>>The most important thing about depression is, that it's usually "mischanneled anger." Anger is a useless emotion. It wrecks your life, doesn't solve the problem or problems, and makes you want to scream!

I try to love myself more and tend to revert to being a bit too uptight and arrogant... that's not too good.
I do love myself anyhow... but if that gets out of hand it probably makes people feel awkward.

So - now that dude told me what I'm doing wrong, I've kinda changed a bit... and people can stand me more.

hmm what to do to deal with depression? It's a tough one... surviving through it is the main thing, and not allowing it to cause you to make stupid decisions.

>>>I try to love myself more and tend to revert to being a bit too uptight and arrogant... that's not too good. Razz
>>>>I do love myself anyhow... but if that gets out of hand it probably makes people feel awkward.

I personally prefer to be around those who are arrogant, but relaxed, like my cat. There is a certain charisma to this sort of creature. Just think, fluffy cat, sitting down, eyes closed. But maybe as an aspie you would simply prefer people stay as far away from you as possible because they are too difficult to deal with, in that case, you could be self-hating and uptight. Thats a good enough reason to stay far away from a person! Unfortunately, it just isn't very fun to be that person either.

As someone who gets depressed quite regularly, I've found the following help most: Do a minimum of 30 minutes exercise a day, eat bananas regularly, get at least 15 minutes sunlight a day and keep yourself occupied.

Exercise will increase your self esteem slightly, in addition to releasing some very nice happy chemicals in your brain. On top of that, it can relieve tension, and there are, obviously, a huge range of other benefits.

Bananas contain a load of vitamin B and other nutrients your body needs to produce serotonin and dopamine, 2 of the most important chemicals responsible for feeling happy.

Sunlight (in controlled amounts) stimulates the production of vitamin d (I think.. might have the wrong letter) which helps keep you happy also. A lot of people get depressed in winter simply because of a lack of sunlight.

Staying occupied is a no brainer - the busier you are, the less time you have for negative thoughts to build up without intervention.

Interesting! I do all these things, too, and it really does work! I hike about 5 miles a day, make banana smoothies several times a week, and have a light therapy lamp for winter time use. I make an effort to not mull over things too much, but instead keep active with various interests.

vandire: good advice! Thanks. I didn't know the bit about bananas, will stock up...

Actually, or, additionally, the photoreceptors in the eye has some kind of connection to a center in the brain that produces and distrubute serotonin along some pathways in the brain. The more sun, the better. Have heard that there are special lightbulbs that produce lightwaves that are almost like the sun, haven't tried those though. Also, sunlight have some link to melotonin production and such with keeps you awake, but I kind of forgot that one.

Another tips for fighting (or rather, handling) depression, is, when you're thinking those really viscious thoughts, write them down. Don't let them loop around in your head for hours, they want to come out in some form. Writing is one of them. I've tried it and it workes for me sometimes, some insightful moments, some total gibberish. Making music and drawing or just feeling really sad about myself for a while kind of helps too (buying alot of icecream, sitting alone in the darkness, eating it, and think "oh damn i feel so sorry about myself"). Dont overdo it though

But stay away from harming yourself, I can tell by experience that you'll regret it. It's good for the moment, but not in the long run. I still have stains from ciggarette-marks on my arm. :p

the most effective way to deal with depression is to kill yourself, if you are successful at that the success rate of your depression disapearring is 100%. not bad odds, however the success rate of killing yourself that's a whole nother story

another option is to get a girlfriend, unfortanetly the odds of this happeneng, you being an aspie, are much lower probably in the 5% range