Do other people with AS feel this way about socializing?

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I HATE going to weddings, ect., or anything with large groups of people. I think they are boring and I have nothing to say to most people there. I don't see the point of smalll talk to try and make the best of those situations. I would rather be doing something I want to do then lie to people and nod and fake intrest just to have something to talk about. I did not go to like 3 weddings when a month before I said I would because of this. I made up some excuse at the last minute on why I would not go. In the future I just will decline the invite, and I will be honest. I will tell them I have a disorder that maks me uncomfortable around large groups, but thank them for thinking of me. If they can't accept me for having AS and get mad about it, then I don't want them as a friend. Why do NT feel the need to spend time BSing with people over stuff most people think is meaningless, but they keep up with the small talk anyway?
Do other people with AS feel the same way I do about socializing with large groups? I'm fine with a few people that I know, but after that I don't see the point of going to those things. I'm sure everyone is nice and all that, but I really have no intrest in being fake and pretending to like them when I would rather do something else.
IMO I feel I'm better then the NT's that enjoy the small talk, ect becuse I'm honest with how I feel. I have AS and I'm better becuse I know there is no need for that type of small talk, ect..

Last edited by KenM on 19 Oct 2005, 8:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

KenM, I know exactly what you mean. I hate groups/crowds/gatherings/get-togethers/etc. I also refuse to be fake and most of the people I know are well aware of this by now. They think it is odd that I don't want to do these things that they find so fun but to me, fun is working on my websites/blogs, reading a book, spending time with my puppies or on one of my other many obsessions. The bottom line is, I'd rather be home.

They actually find enjoyment in doing those things....go figure.

I once had a supervisor tell me in an evaluation that I would have scored better if I would just smile more. So I asked her if she really wanted me to fake happiness just to bring up a silly score.....she said yes.....so I told her, no can do. Needless to say, I didn't stay long at that job. I quit because I couldn't imagine working for someone so fake and out of touch with her own emotions.

Last edited by monastic on 18 Oct 2005, 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

And I hate parties.

Hi Ken. I agree with ya to a degree. Weddings come rarely so I will make the effort to go to avoid people bitching about my absence later on.

Heck yes. Hate smalltalk. The one saving grace of such conglomerations of human superficiality is the free food.

I also hate weddings, but last Saturday I went to a good friend's wedding to take pictures for him. I'm still working on the pictures. (by the way, the bride's s 13-14 year old son has AS). I've never been a wedding photographer before, so this was definitely a first for me. It was hard.

I'm not that happy with the results, but with Photoshop the pics brighten up quite a bit.

I have some of the pics on my website. They are not for the general public, but since you people aren't "general public," you may check them out. (lots more to come). Go to http://scoogy.com/wedding/ to see them.

mmmm.... free food

I hate it too.

Its ok if I really know the people.

With huge areas of people I often tune out. I also hate people invading my personal space.

This is why I'm going to Vegas if I ever get married. Not only will a "traditional" wedding be (in my eyes) an overrated dog-and-pony show where I go insane from the overstimulation, but the food won't be free, either. Small talk makes my eyes roll back in my head.

hmmmm. . . . . . .


Horray for free food!

I find I only like a rather select and circumscized number of people in my IRL outside of WP(and my immediate family); about 3, maybe 4. And most of them are not all what I consider friends, but I'll hang out with them in these partys and other public places, and this helps me dodge the others and actually get a little bit of enjoyment (and free food!) from these gatherings. The only sort of gatherings I go to regularily are church gatherings, and I tend to make these as short as I can.

I don't do small talk at all. I'll respond, but in a way that makes it clear that I don't have much to say.

These people I like to be with go directly to the meat of conversation, about reformed theology and the crusades of Pope Urbans-Clements. There are a lot more non-NT's around than I think anyone suspects, but it takes some time to find them.

I can't stand small talk, but I do enjoy a good party. It's a good time to let my hyperactivity out. I go crazy, sing karaoke, eat whil singing karaoke, drink while singing karaoke, and run around the beach in my underwear. Of course, it's been years since I've been invited to a party. I just haven't known the partying kind of people. I've only been to family parties, which are kind of interesting because there's food and cousins. I haven't been tro a wedding before. Well, except for my mom's and my dad's second marriages. I remember feeling uncomfortable at the reception.

sorry to be such a pedant, nathan, but...

do you mean "circumscribed"? only the alternative is making me laugh like a maniac.

Depends on what KIND of free food. I'm so picky.

And people. And any kind of socialization. And loud noises. And the music people listen to. And food they have at parties. And people. And having to talk to people. And... (list goes on and on)

But I shall spare you from reading the rest of it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....Times like these, I *heart* my innate abilities to make detailed mental images.

Small talk... AAAAARRRRGHHH
****! I hate it! I feel the same way as you all do.

This is when I wish I could score a copy of a poster I'd seen some years ago and put it up on their wall. It depicted a guy wearing an army helmet, sporting a silly grin, and hoisting a huge mug to his lips. A caption in big loud letters underneath said:

HOW ABOUT A NICE, BIG MUG OF SHUT THE **** UP. Think before you say something stupid.



NT talk, eh!