When to branch out...

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So I'm new here! I don't know how this is as a first post...

I'm still getting used to college life, even though I'm in my second semester. Having come from a teeny town where everyone is a 20 minute drive away at least, it is very strange to have friends who live just a 5 minute walk away. However, with my newfound friends (there's a group of us), I have no idea how often is too often to see them, and they all pretty much live in one of the other dorms. I worry that I'm pushing myself on them a lot of the time, even though we are all friends with one another. I will call them sometimes to hang out, but I have anxiety when talking on the phone too, so this is very hard. As a result, I don't know if it's because they think I'm very strange, but I feel like I'm not as close with everyone as they are with each other. I will try to make extra effort to see them, but I'm always in fear of seeming pushy and demanding, because I respect that other people need their own time and space.

When I'm with them, though, it's perfectly fine; I just have a lot of trouble making plans (this is where all of my anxiety comes up)

So, the question I'm trying to ask is: with friends, how do you gauge if your efforts concerning the friendship, especially making plans with friends are "normal"? Do you have specific rules for how often you see them (especially in college) or do you play it by ear?

I've thought this exactly, and it bugs me. Anyway, my usual (bad) strategy is just to wait for them to call me or come to hang out. But for those people who I'm really interested in, I chose the strategy of trying to give as much as they do. I make the number of calls that I make equal to the number of calls that they make. That way would seem to help me not show too little or too much interest. However, I don't know how helpful this is, because I keep noticing that things go bad for reasons unknown to me, and I only have a few friends.

Hmm, I'm sorry That sounds a lot like my situation. Unfortunately, my friends are terrible at answering the phone, so I don't know whether to take it personally - I think it's just a fluke.

I guess I'll just take the more optimistic route while bonding with other people as well...

I have that problem too, of not knowing if they mean something by not answering the phone. It seems we're pretty much in the same boat! Someone else needs to give us some help! But I think that optimism is a good thing. You wouldn't get anywhere if you were always worried about whether someone likes you or not, so it's better to just hope for the best, and if they really want something to change, they'll probably just say so eventually!