I take change by staging it if I can; for instance, I started the first semester of my first year of college by taking the easiest classes that I could and by gauging my reaction, I took the hardest classes I could in the second semester so that I could have a clear path to start working and attending school in the second year. Before I go back to school I am starting second shift at my workplace at least 2 or 3 weeks before school so that I can adjust my sleeping patterns and not crash in the first few days of school. In my third year I am moving to Columbus and I am saving my money now so that I don’t have to work in the first year (or at least the first semester) and I am going to be moving at least a month early so I can better adjust to living on my own. I try to plan things so that the least amount of variables possible would crop up and I generally (as most people) would rather contend with the smallest number of problems possible at any given time. The last thing I want to happen is deal with a large number of problems that interlock with each other. When that happens, the s**t really hits the fan with me.
If something unexpected happens (such as a seizure, which would mean no driving for some time and by extension, no work while in school) I try to have contingencies so that I can continue on the path I chose, although slower. If the above happened, then I would have to quit my job and get a associates in Drafting (something that would be very easy for me to get) so that I could find good work (after dropping out of school for a while) to make some money so that I can stash it away and finance my greater education in this way.
I’ve learned too long ago that the s**t hits the fan in most unexpected ways; there is never a thing like a happy ending. Todays triumph is tomorrow tradegy and the expectation of a fairy tale life is 100% BS. Its not that one cannot lead a happy life, its that no one ever escapes tradegys and the realities of life. You or I are not special in this department. One storm may pass, that is no guarantee another will not come. That being said, a life that is tragic is not indicative of what is to come. All things have their appointed time and place, and this is the reason I accept what is.
The inner life is an awesome resource of resilience and courage for me. In my mind, I am Prometheus, he who stole fire from the gods to give to humanity; and suffered terribly for it, although ultimately becoming unbound and released. I am Vercingetorix, who fraught Caesar for Gallic liberty and suffered a terrible fate. I am the knight, chiverlous and brave, who will fight to the worlds ending NOT for God, country or king, but ONLY for whom I am and what I stand for. I am Nathan, armored as such, I will never surrender; for endure I all, conquer I all. I hope that did not sound too sappy. . .
It is never wrong for me to sit alone at the lunch table to shutdown at work during breaks. Even if others try to draw me in, it is good and right that I have private time to space out and reconstruct my armor. My time belongs to me, and I do not have to share it with others if I so wish.
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All your bass are belong to us.