How to be friendly to an AS guest?

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Hi.

My sister-in-law has Asperger's and is coming to stay with me and my husband for a while. I was just wondering if anyone with AS might have any tips on how I can make her feel comfortable and be most friendly.

She is in her 30's but only recently diagnosed, and she and my husband aren't very close. At the moment she lives with my husband's parents in Australia. They have come overseas with her, but will not be staying with us on this part of the trip as our flat is too small.

I have got in food she likes, and talked to her about things in London she might like to see. Her hometown is very much smaller and she has never travelled this far before as an adult, and she is quite anxious about the crowds and perceived violence in London. I have tried to reassure her but it is true that it will be more crowded than she is used to.

Please share any advice if you can?

(I and my husband are NT)

Maybe it is an idea to avoid the underground, especially during rush hour and avoid the west end and the city for the most part.

Think is it very individual so I don't know what she is like and what coping mechanisms she has if any.

What are her interests?

Yeah i'm sure if you talk to her about her interests she'll feel right at home
I think you're doing ok anyway by getting her best foods in.

You do not have to do anything special. Jus be friendly. I myself in my 30s female do not like people to fuss much about me. Give her as much freedom as possible, try not to insist on
anything. Definitely do not try to arrange many parties to great her. She would hate that.
Otherwise people are pretty much normal and do not requires special treatment. Ask her what she wants and do not insist on anything.

..when i go round to other peoples homes i sometimes feel like i am imposing, like i get in the way. (in my mind, at least.. ) i become over respectful of their space and possessions. and that all makes me feel uncomfortable. i feel more comfortable as i become more familiar with the environment and the routine of the place, and i know where its ok to be. however, i do not feel that way at family houses (my family) or student houses, i like to know its ok to have a nice long shower in the morning too, and not be rushed too much

..when i first went to london, (from a small village) i found the tube system confusing, didn't like the ticket machines, i really noticed the faster pace of things and it was nice to find a quiet spot occasionally, out of all the people. i thought that there would be more violence or crime too, and held on to my bag a lot. i would agree, be aware of places that she might get nudged about in the crowd (especially the tube at rush hour times, that takes a bit of getting used to) ..but everyone is different, maybe you just have to see it to know what it is really like.

Make sure that she has a quiet area that she can retreat to and not be disturbed.

Thats very true. If she looks like she needs time to relax, let her have it.

As for what to do in London, even though it is a city there are lots of quieter things you can do. Lots of nice parks and green space, museums, art galleries, ummm, london zoo??? I'm sure you know for yourself which tube lines to avoid and at what times. So I would avoid these and the traditional, busy tourist places.

Take her on the first train out of London? It's quieter up north.

Thanks for all your advice. Hopefully she will enjoy her stay.

Yes, and when she is there, don't keep knocking on the door to ask if she's OK, or offering cups of tea, or whatever. She would hate that. We Aspies need our solitary quiet space to recover, and we need to come out in our own time, otherwise we lose the benefit.

hi, why dont you put on this movie? most autistics love it, including myself.

Do not engage in chit chat or small talk. Most people find it friendly, but AS folks consider it annoying, mindless drivel.