Rumours?

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Some time ago a friend of mine called me. He apologized for some things he had told about me to one of his friends. He never told me exactly what it was about, but still he wanted my forgiveness. When I asked him what he had said he just remained quiet, since I didn’t want to quarrel with him about it I told him not to worry. I want to keep the few friends I have.

Now it seems to me that this was a stupid thing to do.

I tried to forget about it, but I can’t. This friend of his is studying at the same university as I do, and she takes many of the same courses as I do. Lately I have been wondering whether or not she has spread the rumour to her friends. It’s practically impossible for me to know whether I can trust her or not. Like most of us I have difficulties reading body language and tone of voice, it’s difficult to tell if she or her friends treat me different from before.

I can’t by looking at them tell if their attitude towards me has changed or not.

This makes me anxious and paranoid, advice would be appreciated.

You need to go back to your friend and explain to him how this information has made you feel.
He has potentially done more damage with the 'apology', which intention was only to make himself feel better not to actually help or support you.
It is unfair that to salve his own concience he has put you in this position of suffering.
He at least should make recompense by making a point of going to the friend and rebutting his comment, apologising to her that he said things about you and making sure she does not think negatively of you.
He could also even things by telling you what he said, which thing he originally avoided because it would have made him feel embarassed and bad NOT to save your feelings.
At least you would know the situation, but this potentially would make you suffer more depending on what he said.

Thanks

I followed your advice and called my friend today and we talked about it. He didn’t seem to have any clear memory what it really had been about (it all had happened months ago). Neither did he know whether or not his friend in question would spread, whatever it was he had said, further.

He probably made a mistake and is too embarrassed to admit it. I can’t really say he took my concern seriously either, he probably thought I was being paranoid and overreacting.

I decided to just give up and leave it be. People will think positively about me if I give them an impression of being the good guy in this stupid drama. That is what my life is; it’s all about acting. Good acting is rewarded by applauds.

universities are big enough that unless you're a really popular person (or generally known and disliked, like my university's student president) rumours won't really hurt your chances with people that much because not many people know who you are.