How I Learned to Make Eye Contact

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Now I know most me people With AS have trouble making eye contact, I was no different then I started to play American Football. Now you maybe asking yourself how the heck dose football help you learn to make eye contact? Well Ill explain because it truly helped me. Now there are many times in Football where eye contact is important many players have made their living on eye contact mostly on eye contact. When I was a freshman I played Conner Back(which is a Defensive player who's main job is to cover the offense Wide Receivers for those who don't know American Football terms.) I had to learn to read a Wide Receivers eyes when I was covering him after I had started to run with him and if I didn't keep eye contact with him while he was running I would have gotten beat deep when the ball was in the air. It took me awhile to get that down that my coach almost moved me to offense but I told him by the first game I will be able to make eye contact with the Receiver by the first game I did just that.
As a Sophomore I moved to Free Safety(who's main job is to cover the center of the field on pass plays and provide run support for the linebackers on run plays) and I had to learn to make even more eye contact then as a Conner Back because I sometime had to spy the Quarterback and react to his movement and sometimes cover a Receiver or Running back out of the backfield. I had quickly learned that my skills about eye contact that I had learned as a freshman where even more need after I change my position. I had already proved that I was the smartest Free Safety we had because I only looked at the defensive play book once and learned it and was able to read a offense like a season NFL Free Safety. I didn't start my Sophomore or Junior year due to I took me awhile to master reading the Quarterback's shifting eyes I did drills to I would have people have long talks with me and smack me(lightly not to hurt) whenever I broke eye contact but other then that I learned eye contact from playing Football. Now I know most of you don't play organized American Football but if you have friends who play pick up games in their backyard play with them and when you are covering someone do everything in your power to look them in the eyes the whole time and react to the ball it works and will help you learn to make eye contact. Football has done great things for me its improve my health help me overcome problems like making eye contact and my teammates by just being around them have helped make me a more social able person. If you have any question about this or would like to add your own story on how you learned to make eye contact feel free to add it to this thread.

OK?

That's a cool story! I'm finding out that it's true about socializing: you have to do it to get good at it. I always hoped to find some book that would give me all the answers so I could go out and BLEND. But, it doesn't work that way. Good for you! I am trying to be better about maintaining eye contact, but somehow it seems like it's easier for me to hear what people are saying when I don't look at them. Because when I do, I notice weird things, like how the light is making some strange looking shadow on there face and I get all caught up in it and don't hear a thing.

Great post! I hadn't even considered sports as a way to help aspies.

Wow, I would love it if either of my boys would play football, but both of them were too uncoordinated. I've often thought that they eventually developed some coordination, but it came too late for them to actually learn the game and play with friends. Also, at least where I live, there are no "pick up" football games like there used to be when I was growing up. Everything is organized sports, and the kids around here start learning football at age 5. Yes, I said age 5. It's ridiculous.

I'm glad that football helped you learn eye contact. I can see where it would be helpful.

Kris

I always thought the position was called "Corner-back", but I was never much into football.

I learned to make eye-contact in tae-kwon-do. Well I didn't actually learn eye contact, I learned to fake through being constantly told to. I just look somewhere else on their face and consentrate on what they say.

How old are your kids? I didn't start playing football until I was in 8th grade and had you learn all the technique and everything in a few weeks. And let me tell you something I tell the little kids I tell at the camp I work at: you may be different then other kids but if you work hard and are determined to put in that extra effort to get better you wont be as different then the other kids. Hard work is the key without you cant do much and with it you can do anything you put your mind to. So Kris Id encourage your kids to try sports they many not have the skills or the coordination but they will get a lot more out of it then playing time that they could use later in life.

This is great for people that can't make eye contact at all but my problem stems from the other extreme. Maintaining too much eye contact which comes across as aggressive which is almost worse. This was in the past in my late teens but then I went the other way and gave too little eye contact. It's a real tightrope to get the balance correct. After years of trying to get it back I am somewhat better. I aim for eye contact for about three seconds then look away with people I don't know that well. For people that I know well it seems to go ok with out conscious thought.

I have the same exact problem. Because someone taught me early that not making eye contact means I'm lying, I fixed it by always making eye contact. Which didn't fix it at all. Life feels impossible sometimes.

Wrestling! One has to stare your opponent down. Before that I NEVER made eye contact.
A year ago I was accused of staring... staring? Man, you just can't make people satisfied!

Can I get an AMEN!

I can make eye contact with my peers, but adults and unfamiliar people are different. They have this sort of intimidating effect.

No body including me sees me as an adult. Thats why I sometimes had trouble with discipline with my students.

Just thought I'd post this interesting article on eye contact:

http://www.bremercommunications.com/Eye_Contact.htm

Well, this explains a LOT. How am I supposed to remember all these rules the next time I speak, though? It's good to know them... but... how can I think of anything else? This will make job interviews even harder, really.

Yeah I know what you mean! I just pick one and work on that for a while, because there's no way as you say to you're going to be able to remember them all.