I like telling people I have AS.

Post Reply New Topic

I like telling people that I have AS, especially people I know. I was diagnosed about 8 months ago, at age 32. Finally, I have a good explaination for my social defiencies. Before that, if I were to say something stupid, I couldn't really even defend myself. I would just end up looking stupid. I didn't know what the problem was, so, how could I explain it to someone else? Being one of the smartest people in my small town, this really bothered me. It bothered me to the point where I was self-conscious about it, and that made my conversations even worse. I had to do something....


Thank god for the internet! That is where I discovered AS and its symptoms. It answered almost every question that I ever had, and gave me a great deal more self-confidence. That confidence, definitely reduced performance anxiety, and actually helped me converse much more smoothly. Now, whenever I get a little tounge-tied, I might say, "Its no big deal, it's just my AS acting up again", and I brush it off like nothing ever happened. I will say, it's easier to do with friends and family, than it is around strangers. As time goes by, it gets easier and easier though. Some day, I just might become that confident speaker that, I know I'm capable of. I just need to learn how to coax it out of my abnormal mind. Can anyone relate or comment?

haha, i like telling ppl about my autism as well, well most ppl already knew before i was even diagnosed something was mentally wrong. I remember telling one of my brothers friends and he was like yea we all knew something was wrong with you up there, but didnt know what. I also use lines like oh jeez its going to a bad autie day haha. Or i'll whine and be like my little autie is bored hahaha. I'm def happier when ppl knw though, its almost like i dont have to pretend or try ten times harder to be something im not which results in a meltdown, i usually just can be myself then!

I think one reason that telling others about my AS is beneficial to social interaction is reflected in something I observed years ago. I noticed that when I was around someone with an obvious handicap (e.g.being in a wheelchair, being blind or having a severe limp requiring a cane) I was ill at ease and did not know how to react or interpret all of their actions. I discovered that talking with them about the handicap was not offensive to them and put me at ease once I understood what their limitations were and were not and what type of assistance I should or should not offer.

If I extrapolate this to my AS, I can see that what I do or what I say that falls outside the "norm" (as they see it) probably puts them ill at ease, and that makes the communication and interaction even more difficult. It just smooths things out if everyone knows the rules that the interaction is operating under. and makes things go much more pleasantly.

I enjoy telling people about my AS. In a way its mostly because I want to show people that not all autistics are depressed and anxious all the time. Sure, I have bad days, but I keep on going with my life and I'm incredibly optimistic and happy.

These days, I no longer really try to hide my AS. I stim and rock like everything, and basically just be myself. Surprisingly, instead of people thinking I was ret*d or crazy, it had the opposite effect. Suddenly, everyone wanted to be my friend, cause no one at my school knew anyone who was on the spectrum.

so, now I'm everyone's favorite slightly autistic kid. =]

I identify with this for sure. Being open about it, even to relative strangers, makes me more confident in my own skin. It also lets NTs know a little more about AS and autism, and how we're practically normal people, just a bit different in how we do things and see things.

i would feel like a dirty ret*d if i told anyone, i guess im just a private person and thats why

Richard,

I am inclined to suggest that you come out from that dark place. But I won't really suggest that because it implies just doing on will power and I have not walked in your shoes a mile (or in this case perhaps I should say I haven't lived in your skull for a year). But I am touched by the self deprecation in your choice of words. "Dirty ret*d" ? really ? I doubt that a "Dirty ret*d" could have posted 7400 times in 469 days. That is more than 15 posts per day. (I looked at your profile) Making a reasonable projection for how many you must have read and the amount of text that you average even if your posts are terse, that makes you fairly literate and you have written a book sized amount of posts. That is a bit beyond being a "Dirty ret*d".

I am guessing that you have either had some very negative experiences based on your AS or possibly you have not recognized any particular positive attribute that you have from it or at least an attribute that it has enhanced. Why would I guess that? Well, Life was hell for me at times (e.g. grade school through high school) and certain career paths were effectively blocked (e.g. anything primarily having to do with working with people), but in engineering I could excel. I could do things that others could not, and now I realize that the hyper focus and altered mental state that would go into when I produced designs never before seen on the planet, grew out of the AS. Life might have been easier if I had someone who understood me and could help me shortcut the learning process to get into a niche that fit me, but hey, I made it . And as you might have seen me post elsewhere "I would not trade my gifts for a cure"

I encourage you to look at the brighter more positive posts on this thread and consider that the world doesn't hate you. The world may not fully appreciate you yet, but the more it understands you the more likely it is that it will

I feel the same
less then 10 people I know, know

i like to tell people "i have autism, can you help me" if im in a store and cant find something..it does help reduce the stress, and makes it easier for me to get around town without worrying about people thinking im nuts

So far, some guys do and some guys don't, but If I counted right all the gals do. Is there a gender factor here? Maybe we need a poll.

This aligns very well with my point in my first post on this thread. If there is something significant and unusual about you and you tell people what it is, you break their expectation that you are typical and then they can adapt to the situation at hand.

Yeah me too. The idea worries me. Once that information is out there in the public domain you can't put it back.

Outlander your post makes sense to me but in the past I've told people about my social anxiety and been treated worse than before. I can't see how revealing my AS status would be much different to that. I think it would help if the people fully understood AS but what's to say they would be willing to make that effort? If AS were more well known and understood then maybe, but at the minute for me I don't feel it's an option.

There is one fundamental difference I have noticed between telling people I have social anxiety and telling people I have AS. Most people know or can assume what social anxiety means, and to outgoing people without it, that's going to mean you're shy, nervous, and not entertaining. Most NTs don't know much about AS, and when you tell people you have AS, 99% of the time they'll say "Really? Forgive my ignorance, but would you mind telling me what that is?" or something to that effect. It's actually an interesting conversation starter, and it's something you're most likely very educated in at this point. It also gives yourself an opportunity to let NTs know the positive sides of AS and creates an interactive conversation which helps develop and learn better social skills for next time (when you inevitably dissect every aspect of the conversation in the near future )

At least, that's why I think telling people is a positive thing.

Legato, that's an interesting experience you've shared. It almost makes me want to go out and try it right now.... Almost!

"Dude, you are getting stuck on a detail, can we just move on?"

"...Yeah I'm sorry, I have a tendency to do that, it is part of this syndrom I have... ever heard of aspergers?"

"No... but I would like to. What is it?"

A good friend of mine and how I came to tell him of aspergers. His emidiate response was "Oh thats why!"
I also believe outlander has made some fascinating observations, I shal have to ask some NTs about their views on this matter.

I think you might consider that when you tell them that you suffer from social anxiety, they think they understand it, but most people have never heard of Aspergers and if they have they probably really do have a reasonable understanding of it. The term "social anxiety" probably evokes an idea in them that you just are not dealing with the ordinary social anxiety that everyone feels. I had the same sort of problem when a doctor diagnosed (incorrectly) my reaction to various scents as being chemically sensitive. If he had said "allergic" people would have understood that it was not in my control, but the reaction I got was, "Well you are just being too sensitive, just quit complaining" Their concept of sensitivity was the same as what people think of when someone gets upset because they are too emotional and have not learned to deal with their emotions and are "too sensitive".

With Aspergers Syndrome, when you explain that it is a form of autism but that you are on the high functioning end of it, they tend to see you as someone who is effectively dealing with a serious handicap, so they are willing to cut you some slack. I don't think that view of it is much more accurate, but it is an easier misconception to live with.

As for the reaction I get when I smell various chemicals, It would appear that is an AS thing in which I have a heightened sensory response and the sensation is causing me a disruptive overload that I have great difficulty ignoring. If it had been explained as AS, I might have gotten a more helpful response.

Of course sometimes the person you are talking to is just an ignorant jerk. You gotta judge these things by the average response.