Being Social

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Ok my first proper post

I don't have any friends at the moment, other than those I chat with online.

My question is if you wanted to become a bit more social, and attemmpt to meet some real life friends, (maybe via an arranged meet up group on the internet) do you think that.

A - It would be easy and acceptable to meet in a pub, cafe, coffee shop or other normal social place?

or

B - To be doing something when u meet new people, like go for a walk, or to the cinema or an activity you enjoy, where their is less pressure to interact with people, where you are not required to fit into the social norm?

sorry not very good at explaining this.

It's certainly easier meeting people when the point of whatever you are doing is not the specific of social interaction. Obviously some interests are more intrinsically social than others.

I don't think I would personally go well in anywhere that was specifically meant for social interaction, and wouldn't do to well in a group in a pub, cafe, coffee shop etc.. unless of course I knew them before hand and was already somewhat familiar with how to interact with those individual people.

I would definately chose option B... as I have done.

I play basketball and meet people through that. Not friends, but definate human interaction. Also I do swing dancing once (sometimes twice) a week and meet people through there also. Again been doing it for a while and have not made any friends (a couple of acquaintences (don't know their names yet)) but it's better than the nothing I was doing before.

Can't be of much help myself if you're needing advice however... I kinda suck at the whole making friends thing.

Let me know if I am even on track?

B- not only does it take the pressure off of people, it also gives them something to talk about.

thanx no advice needed, just wanted opinions of others as apparantly it would be pointless to meet up with someone basically just to do an activity with, and not need to interact too much, like to the cinema, or bowling, or a ski lesson even. coz if ur not going to 'chat' then u wld b aswell going alone!

where is my example was.

If u want on a group ski lesson with potential friends, a block of lessons would be good then everyone would be focused on the learning how to ski, not the chat, so u cld chat occasionaly when waiting for the lift etc. but no pressure to talk, if you know what i mean. so u would meet up weekly with the same aim as everyone else, and begin to feel more comfirtable with those u are with, and gradually feel more at ease, confident, and more able to attempt communication.

But i got well if ur not gonna chat, its a bit pointless and u wld b as well going alone.

Same with cinema or bowling or something.

Most people think well whats the point if ur unable to 'chat' like everyone else and just go to the cinema and str8 home again. and not actually say much to anyone u wd b as well going alone.


nvm i am prob talking crap as usual!

There is nothing wrong with ski lessons or bowling or cinemas, and inherently non chatty envrionment. Because they give you something to talk about. ANd bowling I have found is usually a chatty enironment. During the activity itslef there may not be chat, but it gives you something to talk about as Anders mentions.

While they may not be interactive at the time, they faciliatate that interaction.

Although I would luv to sit and drink coffee with a friend, I would start out with B. That way you get know eachother more. I find that just talking to a new friend gets a little akward. By doing stuff together, it takes some of that social pressure off.

Often B leads to A